Another tax season, though extended do to current events, has once again come to a close in the real world. Having to pay taxes, let alone back taxes is never a fun thing to have to do. In the Silver Age, DC Comic’s flagship character Superman ran afoul of the I.R.S. in Superman #148, published in October 1961.
Like any story from the Silver Age, wacky adventures abound in “Superman Owes A Billion Dollars,” written by Edmond Hamilton with art by Curt Swan. The story was later reprinted in Superman #284 and Showcase Presents: Superman #3. Here are ten crazy things that happened in this gloriously bonkers comics that you never knew.
10 Meet Rupert Brand, IRS Agent Of Doom
In the Silver Age, the Man of Steel faced many crazy and odd villains but none more sinister than rookie IRS agent Rupert Brand. Lex Luthor himself would probably tremble in fear at this no-nonsense government agent! Brand, upon returning to work, makes a startling discovery: Superman has never filed taxes.
Brand, who must read The Daily Planet, sets out to contact Superman, hurling himself off of a building to do so. Before Brand can go splat and thus help rid the world of another soulless taxman, Superman saves him. Superman, probably disappointed that it wasn’t Lois, is immediately given the bad news by Brand, who doesn’t even thank Superman for saving his life.
9 Super Tax Evader
After being off-planet to collect a rare egg from a passing comet and while helping the Metropolis Fire Department's collection drive, Superman hears Brand's cry for help and flies just in time to save him. Superman returns Brand to his office, where the ungrateful IRS Agent informs the Man of Steel that he owes the US government ONE BILLION DOLLARS and gives him 24-hours to come up with the insane amount of money.
Superman tries to reason with Brand, citing that he donates all money he receives to charity. Brand remains firm and tells Superman that there are millionaires who give to worthy charities but still pay taxes. As Superman leaves, Brand tells him he has a single day to come up with the money or he will be arrested.
8 Superman’s Get Rich Schemes Begin
Superman, being the superhero he is, tells Brand he will do his best, flying off as he tries to figure out how to come up with the money he supposedly owes in back taxes. After very little time, Superman spends the rest of the story frantically scrambling for extra cash instead of appealing his case or asking a particular wealth friend (Bruce Wayne) for a loan.
To raise the money, Superman tries a series of “get rich quick” methods, only for a series of goofy Silver Age plot twists and turns to ensue.
7 Bizzaro Help Superman!
Superman, realizing the time crunch, flies to the African Congo and collects a large cache of elephant ivory tusks from an elephant graveyard, claiming he “once spotted it” during his travels. Hoping to net the needed billion dollars from selling the ivory, Superman (without flinching or considering the ethical or international trade ramifications) collects the ivory, tossing it into an abandoned Foreign Legion outpost as a holding receptacle before taking the outpost to a deserted island.
Bizarro, having spotted Superman from Bizzaroworld, arrives and attempts to help. He uses a duplicator ray on the tusks, turning them into worthless bars of ivory soap. Superman chastises Bizarro, who leaves in a puff, leaving Superman back at square one.
6 Diamonds Are Not Superman’s Best Friend
Superman, realizing that for once, using his powers selfishly may not be such a bad thing, goes to a coal mine hoping to compress coal into diamonds, which he can then use to pay his tab. Unfortunately, the comet from earlier has temporarily effected all the coal on Earth, making it impossible for him to for it into diamonds.
Superman is not only is unable to pay his tax bill, but his plan of obliterating the world’s coal supply by turning it all into diamonds and flooding the market before inadvertently plunging the world into economic chaos is thwarted. Bummer.
5 Superman & The Sunken Treasures of Atlantis
Superman, not giving up, decides to continue to solve his problem through science. He visits Professor Potter and acquires a growth serum before contacting Aquaman. Using peer pressure on his fellow Justice League member, he enlists the aid of Aquaman, who is more than willing to help Superman find the world’s biggest oyster so that he can use the growth formula to create the world’s largest pearl.
Superman, unsure that a giant pearl will be enough to cover his debt, continues raiding the treasures of the sea, seeking out sunken treasures and valuable items from tombs under the sea. While underwater, he runs into his old girlfriend Lori Lemaris, who, along with some other Atlanteans, are also pillaging of the sea for sunken gold. Superman cedes the gold to Lori, who then uses it to make gold statues of Superman’s parents, a gesture he doesn’t seem to mind.
4 Super Radium Salesman
Superman next takes a few personal items from the Fortress of Solitude, and leaves them on the island where he left the egg he found. Confident that he is close to reaching the amount he needs to pay the bill, Superman then decides to sell Radium to hospitals, most likely at a premium, to put his total over the top.
He returns to space and brings back a chunk of Radium, only to later learn while covering a story as Clark that there is a shortage of Radium on Earth. Superman feels guilty, so he gives the Radium to the hospitals free of charge.
3 Superman Tries To Pull A Fast One On The IRS
Down but not defeated, Superman returns to the island where he stashed the items from the Fortress, only to find that the space egg has hatched and eaten everything that he has accumulated to pay his tax bill. Out of spite, Superman then tosses the creature into space because of course he does.
As the deadline approaches, Superman returns to Brand’s office with a banknote from the First National Bank of Krypton for one billion dollars. Superman’s attempt to pull this fast one on the IRS is denied by Brand, who says that the check is worthless since it can't be cashed as Krypton no longer exists, not even questioning if there was ever such a bank in the first place.
2 This Looks Like A Job For... Rupert Brand’s Boss?!
Moments before Superman snaps and pops Brand’s head like a zit or tosses him into space, Brand’s boss walks in and saves the day. Brand's boss, probably just Batman in disguise, informs Superman that he’s off the hook for the billion-dollar tax bill.
He cites Code 1426B of the income tax code, explaining that every person on Earth is Superman’s “dependent.” Thus can be claimed, by Superman, at a $600 deduction/per person. This rule is most likely later named “The Superman Loophole,” a tax break a privilege only afforded to the 0.0001%, just to prevent future similar incidences.
1 Superman Wins & Brand Becomes A Supervillain
Defeated, Brand admits he was wrong about Superman being a tax evader and apologizes. While this is technically the end, what follows off-panel can only be inferred but it probably wasn’t good for Brand. Superman, who is okay with the outcome, leaves. Once gone, Brand’s boss rips him a new one for failing to follow IRS procedures and launching a collection process without obtaining proper approval from the department supervisor.
As he flies over the skies of Metropolis, Superman, using super-hearing, chuckles as Brand gets verbally emasculated. Now fired, Brand (in true supervillain fashion) threatens to get Superman next time, prompting Superman to say “No, you won’t,” pausing to break the fourth wall with the classic Silver Age wink. Superman pays taxes to no one!