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8 Awful X-Men We’re Glad Were Never On Screen (And 7 That Fox Would Ruin)

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8 Awful X-Men We’re Glad Were Never On Screen (And 7 That Fox Would Ruin)

The X-Men are one of the most iconic superhero teams ever. Because the mutants of the Marvel Universe are largely self-contained, the X-Men stories were a way of having a massive team without establishing a big event or crossover. The writers could just have multiple heroes working together at all times. Like all good things, we’ve seen many X-Men used effectively, and we’ve seen some used poorly. While, at times, we get classic tales featuring the likes of Cyclops, Wolverine, and Nightcrawler, there are others where we get mutants like Dazzler who shouldn’t even be in the pages.

RELATED: Cringepocalypse: The 15 Most Uncomfortable Moments In X-Men Films

Because Marvel had to keep coming up with more X-Men, it wasn’t long before they started running out of ideas and creating some of the dumbest mutants ever. The reason this concerns us is that Fox is revitalizing the X-Men movie franchise, and any mutant character is ripe for the taking. Our fears don’t just end there, either. There are numerous amazing X-Men that have yet to be on screen, but we don’t want Fox touching them because it would probably end poorly for everyone. Read on for our picks eight X-Men we don’t want in the movies because they’re awful, and seven we don’t want because Fox would ruin them.

15. AWFUL: MAGGOTT

Maggott Joe Mad

There are some ideas that sound really cool after a couple of drinks, and Maggott is proof of that. This mutant has the strange power of an entirely different digestive system and visions of the past. While that’s all fine and well for what it is, his entire character becomes strange when you realize that all of his powers are caused by two robotic slugs that live inside of him. Not only do they function as his digestive system, but they also interpret the past memories of those they devour.

Maggott was utilized in a few stories, but he ended up dying in Weapon X Vol 2. Unfortunately, the writers decided that he was important enough to resurrect, a move that all of us at CBR painfully cringed at.

14. WOULD RUIN: POLARIS

Polaris was a young girl who seemingly had a normal life. However, she was born with natural green hair, which was an indicator of the powers that would eventually manifest. As the years went on, she discovered that she could control and manipulate all types of metal and became another master of magnetism. She later found out that she was the third child of Magneto, along with Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

The reason we don’t want to see her incorporated in the X-Men films is that the plot of Magneto having a son is already being dealt with. Bringing another child into the mix would only complicate things and give Quicksilver’s arc in Apocalypse much less impact. She’s also being brought into The Gifted already, so it’s likely better that she stays there.

13. AWFUL: CYPHER

Cypher Resized

Becoming a member of the X-Men is not an easy thing to do. After years of education at Xavier’s Institute, a mutant must showcase control over their powers as well as prominence in the field of battle. Professor X can’t be charged for not obeying child labor laws after all. However, why Cypher ever became a member of the team is beyond us.

You see, Cypher doesn’t actually hold any powers that make him useful in combat. His only talent is that he can speak just about any language, as revealed in Marvel Fact Files #2. While it’s a neat party trick, we fail to see why any writer for a superhero comic would place a character like this in a team that held the likes of James Howlett or Kurt Wagner.

12. WOULD RUIN: VULCAN

Vulcan of the X-Men in front of a fleet of ships

The long lost brother of Scott Summers had a legacy that no one ever knew about was named Vulcan. This was because, many years ago, there was an old X-Men team that consisted of Vulcan and other mutants. During a mission, most of them ended up dying and Professor X decided to wipe everyone’s memory of the event, and even erased Cyclops’s as a result. Many years later, Vulcan resurfaced and Xavier’s actions were called into question.

While this conflict works well in the comics, it wouldn’t translate on screen based on the universe that Fox is creating. After all, without a proper setup to this plot, it would feel out of place and convoluted to suddenly introduce Scott’s brother before he even has the chance to lead the X-Men himself. As of right now, there are better ways to have this sort of conflict.

11. AWFUL: SKIN

The power of stretching is not a foreign concept to comics or the Marvel Universe itself. As a matter of fact, Mr. Fantastic remains one of the most popular characters in their canon. Yet, Marvel had to try and rip off of themselves when it came to creating Skin, a particularly weird member of the X-Men.

Right away, you’ll notice how disturbing his design is. That’s because Skin’s whole schtick is having 6 feet of extra skin all over his body. He can then use this extra skin to stretch and change shape to just about anything he can think of. He also has to keep the focus on his skin or he will lose his shape. That’s his actual weakness, and no we’re not making this up.

10. WOULD RUIN: SUNFIRE

Sunfire AoA

Sunfire is a powerful character. Being one of the few big Japanese superheroes, he made a big impact on the Marvel Universe. He only joined the X-Men because he felt honor-bound to do so, and he was constantly moving in and out of the team. Eventually, he went back to Japan and decided to form his own team with the Silver Samurai — a team called the Big Hero Six. However, he would undergo a serious injury and be healed at the cost of becoming one of the Horsemen of Apocalypse in “Age of Apocalypse”.

Sunfire has many interesting moments that make him a standout character, but none of them are able to be reached with Fox. The Big Hero Six property belongs to Disney, the Silver Samurai is already dead and Apocalypse has come and gone. They could resurrect the villain, but that would feel like a cheap cop-out.

9. AWFUL: BEAK

beak

With a name like Beak, two things are promised: it’s going to be a mutant based on a bird, and it’s going to be lazy at the same time. One look at Beak’s design and the only thing we want to do is throw up. While we appreciate the effort put into making a character resemble an animal, that had already been done (ever hear of Hank McCoy?). There was no reason to have another mutant like this, let alone one done as poorly as Beak.

His powers, likewise, are lazy as well. He can pretty much do anything a bird can. That’s it. The problem here is that there already is another flying mutant who has been around longer — Angel. Fox already screwed him up, so it’s not likely that they could give such a bizarre character a better treatment.

8. WOULD RUIN: NORTHSTAR

Northstar and his sister Aurora had a big impact on the X-Men team known as Alpha Flight. These twins had an impressive set of powers, including light generation, concussive blasts, and super speed and strength. The two of them had it all. Northstar then became a prime candidate for representation of the LGBT community in comic books, having to deal with his sexuality on top of it all.

However, many comic book movies have proven that they should not deal with big issues like LGBT. We’re not saying that there should be no representation, but that only someone who knows what they’re doing should be able to do it (and those people are scarce). Furthermore, it would be difficult to communicate Northstar’s powers on screen without making it look ridiculous.

7. AWFUL: MIMIC

Mimic, The Former X-Men Villain

We’ll give you three guesses to try and discover what this guy does? There are some X-Men names that are cool, both alluding to their abilities while still having enough pizazz to remain interesting. That is not so with Mimic. He copies other superhero’s powers and nothing else. It seems like an idea a kid could come up with on the playground.

If you think that’s lazy, wait until you hear his origin story. His father was a scientist, there was a lab accident, and Mimic suddenly gained his powers. That’s everything you need to know about the character’s past in one sentence. He constantly flip-flopped between a hero and a villain, and was even offered a spot on the X-Men team run by Norman Osborn.

6. WOULD RUIN: FANTOMEX

X-Force Deadliest Fantomex

Fantomex is one of the coolest X-Men to have ever existed. Period. After appearing to Charles Xavier and Jean Grey, he got them involved in a plot that involves more Super Soldiers being created through the Weapon X program. During that conflict, they discovered that Fantomex was the powerful Weapon XIII and was trying to go down a better path. He then worked with numerous teams, like X-Force and the X-Men to handle numerous threats and even had an interesting relationship with Wolverine.

With a character like Fantomex, it would be all too easy to adopt him on the big screen in all the wrong ways. They could see his demeanor and just try to apply his coolness factor without any of the substance that made him so interesting in the first place. They’d probably give him a much less-inspired costume as well.

5. AWFUL: MARROW

Sometimes, mutants can have powers that are legitimately cool. Others have powers that are too ridiculous to believe. Then there are the rare cases where their powers are downright disgusting. Guess where Marrow falls. You’ll notice that this X-Men has all kinds of horns and extensions through her body. The caveat here is that those are her bones that have grown out of her skin.

What exactly does that mean? Well, at any time, Marrow can pull one of these bones from her body and use it as a knife or some other type of weapon. Just imagine watching someone remove a bone and start beating you with it. It’s gross, it’s unsightly, and it’s something we never want to see done with modern special effects. Fox needs to stay away from this one.

4. WOULD RUIN: XORN

xorn-x-men

For those of you that don’t know, there was a complex storyline involving the mutant Xorn revealing himself to be a presumed-dead Magneto, but we’ll ignore that for a moment. The concept of the real Xorn is fascinating to behold. His brain was destroyed by a tiny star that manifested in his mind. This resulted in powers that were so strong that he had to wear a rad helmet to keep them in check. He became a much more thoughtful mutant and ended up becoming a teacher at Xavier’s School.

A character like Xorn takes precision and sensitivity to master, and it’s not a skill that we’re confident exists at Fox. They’d either push the Magneto reveal (as if we need more of him) or turn him into an unnecessary plot device. There’s a chance that they could do him well, but it’s a slim one.

3. AWFUL: HUSK

X-Men/Generation X - Husk

The Marvel Universe is home to many different powers. Take Colossus, for example. At any point in time, he can turn his body into steel to increase his strength and durability. Then there’s Iceman who can completely turn into a being of ice. Mutants like these are awesome, but it seems like Marvel thought that the best way to celebrate them was by combining them all into the hero known as Husk.

First of all, husk is one of those words that doesn’t roll off the tongue nicely and typically is associated with dead skin — not exactly inviting. Unfortunately, this perfectly correlates with her powers. Husk can change her body into any material she desires, but in order to so, she must first shed her entire skin and toss it aside. This means she will perpetually be throwing her dead skin layer away in battle.

2. WOULD RUIN: RACHEL SUMMERS

rachel summers

In an alternate reality, Scott Summers and Jean Grey were happily married. They even had a daughter together, who they named Rachel. The young girl inherited the powers of her mother and was able to tap into the Phoenix Force anytime she wanted to. She got mixed up in a lot of dark stories and ended up crossing over into the main reality, where she couldn’t handle the prospect of her mother being killed.

Rachel Summers could be a rich resource for storytelling as Fox develops the relationship between Scott and Jean, but doing so now would be premature. On top of that, dimension hopping isn’t something that most casual moviegoers aren’t ready to accept, so it’s probably best for Fox and other comic book movie producers to stay away from that concept.

1. AWFUL: STACY X

We’re not sure what the writers were on when they came up with Stacy X, but whatever it is, they need to stay off of it until the end of time. Stacy X, at face value isn’t bad. She can control others and is a fighter able to challenge Wolverine. The problem comes in how she specifically controls others. Instead of some sort of telepathy or brain stimulation, Stacy X instead emits a pheromone that manipulates bodily functions.

This means that she can cause a person to vomit, urinate, or even climax on command — and that’s part of an official description of her powers. As if that weren’t strange enough, she also supports scaly skin that both provides protection as well as look particularly disturbing at all times. We can only imagine how Fox would adapt this character, and we don’t want to see any of it.

Which of these do you agree or disagree with? Let us know in the comments!

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x-men
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