Let me establish right off the bat that I have no problem with the basic concept of misunderstandings between characters leading to conflict. It is quite the long-standing literary technique. However, I think it is still fair to take issue with those instances where misunderstandings come from characters saying things they would not normally say, but things that had to be said for a misunderstanding to exist. Said situation occurred in the most recent issue of Flash (Spoiler Warning!), where Superman said to Flash (after the Justice League assisted the Flash on a case) – “Wally…we’re not here socially. We’re here about the way you take Jai and Iris into battle. We’ve come for the kids.” After a couple of pages of Wally freaking out, Superman elaborates that when he said “we’ve come for the kids,” he just meant “we came on their behalf, to discuss the situation.”
In honor of that wonderful turn of phrase by Superman, here are the top five things Superman SHOULD have said to Flash…
For each of these, imagine Wally’s response as one of outrage, followed by Superman’s second sentence, which is explaining the first one (except for #3, as that one stands on its own).
5. “We are here to steal your children!!”
“Oh, sorry, I just meant that we were going to steal them away for the afternoon to see a movie!”
4. “You and Linda are unfit parents!!!”
“Oh, sorry, I just meant that your wardrobe looked a little ragged. We came by to take the whole family on a shopping spree, courtesy of Bruce Wayne!”
3. “The Viper is coming.”
2. “Your children are going to die!!”
“Oh, sorry, I meant they were going to die laughing from all the fun we’re going to have at the Children’s Zoo later today! We’re all here to invite you to a Justice League party!”
1. “We are here to murder your children!”
“Oh, sorry, I just meant we are going to kill them”
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