TOP

Top Five Things Captain America Also Did Not Know About

by  in Comic News Comment

Okay, I was at a boring conference all day, so to amuse myself, I came up with a bunch of Top Fives. You know what that means? A WEEK OF TOP FIVES!!! Oh yeah!!

This first one is a reference to the final issue of Civil War: Front Line. In it, Sally Floyd, the reporter who was clearly on Captain America’s side the entire series, abruptly turns on Cap in the last issue to lambaste him for “thinking he is speaking for America when he really knows nothing about America.” To demonstrate this, Floyd inanely points out that Cap is probably unfamiliar with NASCAR, MySpace, etc. For some weird reason, Cap actually reacts like Floyd made some brilliant point, but that’s neither here nor there. Here are the top five things Captain America also did not know about American culture (that Floyd did not mention). Enjoy!

5. Rachel Ray


I am certain that Captain America would love Ray and all her wholesome goodness, but I am just as certain that Captain America does not follow the Food Network (or daytime talk shows).

4. The WNBA


“Women play professional basketball now?”

I will not make a joke that not knowing about the WNBA makes Cap actually fairly similar to the rest of America, as that would be an unfairly mean joke.

3. Kevin Federline


I think that there is a decent chance that even Captain America has heard of Britney Spears. In fact, I bet he even managed to pick up that she was having marital problems (and mental problems), but there is no way that Captain America actually knows who Kevin Federline is.

2. So You Think You Can Dance


“I remember this show about dancing…I think it was called American Bandstand. It was hosted by this guy who was born a few years before me…Dick something or other.”

But So You Think You Can Dance?

I Do Not Think Cap Would Know It.

1. Tentacle Porn

Nuff’ said.