Disco pilots lost in the future, Hugh Jackman jacked-in for robot combat, and porn-star zombies. Oh, and Godzilla getting the Criterion treatment. Not a bad week on the DVD shelves…
PICK OF THE WEEK: Godzilla: The Criterion Collection (DVD & Blu-ray)
It’s Godzilla, Japan’s most popular non-electronic export. It’s also an impossibly subtle — well, subtle for a movie featuring an aquatic, atomic dinosaur — anti-war film, from the only country to have ever been subject to a nuclear attack. Some of this franchise starter is a little clunky, sure, but there is no denying the enduring appeal of Big G.
Real Steel (DVD & Blu-ray)
Seriously? Honestly? Far better than it looked like it was gonna be. It’s Rocky with robots, not rocket science — despite the fact that you’d need rocket science to make the rock ‘em-sock ‘em bots who battle for humanity’s pleasure in Real Steel’s questionable future.
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: Season One (DVD)
Spandex uniforms. Horny space princesses. Robot bling. Disco. Col. Wilma Deering. You know you want it.
Paranormal Activity 3 (DVD & Blu-ray)
Scary. Allegedly. I say allegedly, because I’m a wuss and won’t watch it. But as I understand it, PA3 makes up for a shoddy PA2. So, if wetting yourself is your cup of tea, then have at it.
The Toy (Blu-ray)
If you imagine this not as a 1980s relic — it starred Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason in late-career roles that didn’t befit their comic godfather statuses — and, instead, as an alternate universe where a robot’s programming got wiped and ends up as a toy for a rich kid who bought him fair and square, then it’s still a bit of a mess. But it’s a science-fiction mess.
Porn Star Zombies (DVD)
You’re gonna watch this movie based on the title, or not. There’s nothing I can say that’ll change your minds.
Tales of an Ancient Empire (DVD)
Kevin Sorbo. That’s all you need to know. (Okay, it’s also apparently horrible … which means that it’s just begging to be viewed with a pepperoni pizza and a six-pack.)
The House on Sorority Row (DVD)
If you’re going to watch one cult-classic horror movie with a gaggle of nubile young college students getting hacked to pieces …