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Ten Goofiest Moments in Uncanny X-Men #426-435

by  in Comic News Comment
Ten Goofiest Moments in Uncanny X-Men #426-435

With the release this weekend of X-Men First Class, I figured I’d devote two days to goofy moments related to the film’s release. So in honor of Azazel’s appearance in the film, let’s take a look at the ten goofiest moments from Uncanny X-Men #426-435, which includes the six-part (seven including the prologue) storyline “The Draco,” which introduced Azazel.

All ten issues were written by Chuck Austen. The artwork was done by Phillip Tan (pencils and inks on #426, 429-433), Steve Kim (pencils on #427), Sean Phillips (pencils and inks on #428), Takeshi Miyazawa (pencils on #434), Ron Garney (pencils on #435), Mark Morales (partial inks on #427, full inks on #435), Randy Green (partial inks on #427), Sandu Florea (partial inks on #427), Craig Yeung and Scott Elmer (both partial inks on #434).

As always, this is all in good fun. I don’t mean any of this as a serious criticism of the comics in question. Not only were these writers certainly never imagining people still reading these comics decades after they were written, great comics often have goofy moments (Kirby/Lee’s Fantastic Four is one of the best comic book runs of all-time and there were TONS of goofy stuff in those 100 plus issues!).

10. The way you crawl around the night, you are the very epitome of the word “nightcrawler”…

This bit from #428 really isn’t BAD, but it is still pretty goofy…


Then again, as we will see later, Austen retroactively coming up for the explanation behind a character’s codename is a good deal better than the code names he comes up with himself…

9. There’s nothing wrong with this, right? Right?

I always was creeped out by this concept, fully introduced in #426, that Havok’s nurse (while he was recovering from being comatose) was falling in love with him via her son connecting her mind with Havok’s while Havok recovered from his coma…



I mean, when your son’s telepathy is THAT powerful, how could you possibly trust what happened in your head? “Carter decided that I would make a good couple with Alex, but I’m sure I fell in love with Alex all on my own.”

8. There’s nothing wrong with this, right? Right?

She-Hulk, seriously, you can’t sleep with your clients…



I believe Dan Slott even explained this away in a later issue, that was how out of character it was for She-Hulk.

Matsui should not have been Rookie of the Year, by the way (and as a Yankee fan, I wanted him to win). The guy who beat him had very similar offensive numbers (perhaps even slightly better) while playing a much more important defensive position (shortstop as opposed to left field for Matsui) and playing it decently (while Matsui was probably slightly below average as a defensive outfielder). Matsui had a much better career than the other guy, though, whose only good season was that rookie season (and I’m sure Matsui prefers his World Series MVP to the Rookie of the Year award).

7. If only I could return to Earth. I know! I’ll go to Earth and do something to allow myself to one day return to Eart…wait a second…

One of the plot points of “The Draco” that gets mocked a lot, and I think a bit unfairly so, is the whole bit about how Azazel impregnated women on Earth so that when they got older he could manipulate them into using their teleportation powers to bring him back to Earth. A lot was written about how it was silly that Azazel went to Earth so that he could one day have kids who could bring him to…Earth.

However, that was not his plan, really. His plan was to bring his entire army of demonic mutants back to Earth (after they had been driven to this hell-like dimension centuries ago), so the fact that he alone could visit Earth himself once or twice wasn’t the point…


that said, Chuck Austen sure doesn’t make that very clear in the comic, including this bit that definitely makes it sound like Azazel just wants to get back to Earth himself (in which case, why did he leave in the first place? If he was forced to return, they never say as much in the comic itself)…


6. The Name Game

One of Azazel’s progeny is a New Zealand mutant. His name. Kiwi Black. I kid you not.


It would be like naming a French mutant Frog White. Or a..well…I think you get the point.

Go to the next page for the top five!

5. Lending a hand…or some stuff…

In #431, Iceman’s body (while in ice form) is exploded. Iceman had recently experienced a secondary mutation (which has pretty much been ignored) where he could literally turn INTO ice. So he was able to survive his body exploding. But he needed moisture to re-create his body. Havok offers up some…


4. Angels and Demons, Book 1…

It is goofy enough that Azazel is trying to claim that the Biblical devil is just based on stuff he and some demonic-looking mutants did a long time ago (this is especially weird in a Marvel Universe that clearly HAS demons)…



but even goofier is…

3. Angels and Demons, Book 2…

the idea of Angel being a descendant of a race of mutants who look like Angels who drove the demon-looking mutants out of this dimension. What takes it over the limit is the notion that Angel’s blood actually boils Nightcrawler…


That’s some goofy stuff right there.

2. I Was So Much Older Then, I’m Younger Than That Now…

In #428, our story begins 20 years ago, before Mystique even meets Azazel and before she gets pregnant.


So that means that it is, at the earliest, 19 years and 3 months ago that she gave birth to Kurt.

I certainly don’t mind some fudging with ages (this is comics, after all), but the notion that Kurt is NOW 19 years old? That’s pretty darn goofy.

1. Seriously?

In #427, here is one of the goofiest, oddest, out of nowhere plot points you’ll ever see…


What would possibly motivate you to come up with that for a plot point?