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Seriously, Enough With The Superhero Porn Already

by  in Comic News, Movie News Comment
Seriously, Enough With The Superhero Porn Already

Maybe it’s just me, but this week’s release of set photos from Justice League XXX: A Hardcore Parody not only failed to get me either hot or bothered, but did just the opposite: It made me wish that the porn/comics crossover had never happened.

Don’t get me wrong; this isn’t some kind of anti-prurient tirade about pornography ruining characters that I’ve been reading about since I was a child (sorry, Westboro Baptist Church fans) as much as it’s a tirade against so many superhero porn movies so quickly. In the last, what, eight months since news of Batman XXX broke, the world has been given porn versions of Superman, Wonder Woman and the Green Hornet, as well as a second, entirely unrelated Batman parody, as well as the formation of not one, but two imprints dedicated entirely to porn parodies of superheroes. In eight months.

I can’t work out if this rush to fill the void of superhero porn comes from bandwagon jumping, genuine audience hunger, or something that’s closer to “Do as many as possible before Marvel and DC work out how to use the law to shut us down” (Hint, producers: Using the actual logos of the trademarked characters is probably not the smartest thing you could do. Just sayin’). I mean, I have absolutely no doubt that there is a sizable crossover between the porn consumer and the superhero comic consumer – No stereotyping, just paying noticing the porn star turn-out at comic conventions – and the internet has easily proven that, if there’s a fictional character, there’s someone who really really wants to see them having sex, so it only stands to reason that characters as iconic as Batman, Superman, Spider-Man et al would have a draw when portrayed by attractive naked people who like to have sex. And, as superheroes started to dominate the mainstream movie zeitgeist, the idea of porn parodies must’ve seemed more and more like a no-brainer.

But there’s a point where you can have too much of a good thing, or even – in this case – a neutral thing that is entirely dependent on the individual quality of each entry. Sure, Batman XXX looked quirky and funny and affectionate for its source material, but Justice League just looks like a gangbang with trademarks, and that’s just… dull (Especially for a genre that has done that kind of thing to death itself). In a way, it’s nice to see that porn still leads the mainstream industry at times – I just wish that it wasn’t that it’s managed to make superhero movies seem less like events as everyday occurrences in such a short period of time.

That said, if they ever get around to The New Guardians: A Hardcore Parody, I’m there.

Image from Bleeding Cool.

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