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15 People Who Have Bumped Uglies With Deadpool

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15 People Who Have Bumped Uglies With Deadpool

It may be hard to believe it now, but for the first few decades of Deadpool’s comic book career, he only appeared in Comics Code-approved comic books, which are basically the equivalent of a PG-rated film (actually, it is possible that they would better be described as G-rated!). Over time, he slowly moved his way up to PG-13 ratings before Marvel finally gave him the “Parental Advisory” rating, the Marvel equivalent of being rated R. This, of course, also tied in with the Deadpool film coming out and becoming a blockbuster R-rated film. We bring this up to note that, because of this set-up, Deadpool comics were not often a place where you would look if you wanted to see something sexy.

RELATED: Thor In The Morning: 15 Characters Who Felt Thor’s “Hammer”

After all, Deadpool literally wears a full-body costume because his body is horribly disfigured. Even in the PG days, though, Deadpool had a few paramours, but when the content got more explicit, so, too, did Deadpool’s love life. Here, then, are 15 women that Deadpool has had sex with in the comics over the years.

15. DEATH

Deadpool has long had a complicated history with death. The reason he gained his powers in the first place is because he was trying to do whatever he could to avoid death after he was diagnosed with a terminal case of cancer. However, after being experimented on and tortured for long enough, he yearned for death — it was too late, though, as his new healing powers prevented him from dying.

As a result, Death has become interested in him as well, and they have pursued a relationship on occasions, which infuriates Thanos, who is famously obsessed with Mistress Death and it galls him to no end that she appears to prefer the company of Deadpool to him. For a time, Thanos made sure that Deadpool could never die, just to keep him from Mistress Death!

14. SIRYN

As noted, for years, Siryn was Deadpool’s ideal woman. In the second Deadpool miniseries, he teamed up with Siryn and her father, Banshee (an old friend of Deadpool’s) to fight against Banshee’s cousin, Black Tom Cassidy and Cassidy’s partner in crime, the Juggernaut. During the series, he grew to love her and thus was distraught when she saw him without his mask (this was the first time we learned that he was gross under his mask).

They became close friends, but their relationship never became a physical one. That changed, though, after Siryn thought she was having a baby with her fellow mutant, Jamie Madrox, but the baby was fathered by one of Madrox’s duplicates, so when Madrox touched the baby, he absorbed it. A despondent Siryn ended up sleeping with Deadpool just to distract herself from her pain.

13. BEATRICE THE BEARDED LADY

The short-lived series, Deadpool Team-Up, saw Deadpool explore the strangest areas of the Marvel Universe, all with the help of a series of guest-stars. In Deadpool Team-Up #897 (as a joke, the series bean with Deadpool #900 and worked backwards), Deadpool teamed up with Johnny Blaze and Dan Ketch, two different Ghost Riders, as they tried to save a town of circus “freaks” (who had hired Deadpool to kill their tyrannical boss).

As it turned out, the freaks were part of a whole demon situation and thus Deadpool and the Ghost Rider brothers had to do whatever they could to save the townspeople. In the end, after they succeeded (and Deadpool killed their boss after it turned out that he was a jerk even when he wasn’t demon-possessed), Deadpool celebrated the victory by taking Beatrice the Bearded lady home for some hairy loving.

12. COPYCAT

In the hit film, Deadpool, Wade Wilson’s love interest in the film is named Vanessa. Vanessa is also a major love interest of Deadpool’s in the comics, as well, only in the comic books she is a shapeshifter who goes by the name Copycat. When we first see Deadpool and Copycat interact (during a point where she had infiltrated X-Force as Domino), he is trying to kill her, which he did for the next few years (she is often protected by Garrison Kane, her next boyfriend).

Over the years, though, their relationship improved and they even began to date, but Copycat proved too crazy for Deadpool. When he was hired by a revamped Weapon X, however, he broke from the group when he learned they wanted Copycat dead (this time, Kane was one of the people trying to kill her!). Sadly, Wade couldn’t save her from her fate.

11. TYPHOID MARY

The villain with a split personality, Typhoid Mary first encountered Deadpool when she hired two mercenaries while she was locked up in a mental institution. One of them was hired to free her and the other one was hired to kill her. Luckily for Mary, Deadpool was the one she hired to free her. There was a strong attraction between the two, but Deadpool was trying to become a hero at the time, at least in part because of his desire to live up to the example set for him by the mutant hero, Siryn.

Therefore, Deadpool was over the moon when Siryn seemed impressed enough by his recent actions that they spent the night together. He was aghast, however, to find out that it was actually Typhoid Mary using an image inducer! It was part of a plan of Deadpool’s nemesis, T-Ray, to torment him.

10. MERCEDES WILSON

One of the most confusing entries on this list is Mercedes Wilson, Deadpool’s first wife. The reason why this is a difficult one is because there is some debate whether she actually was his wife! You see, Deadpool was constantly being hounded by another mercenary named T-Ray, one of his greatest rogues.

At the end of Joe Kelly’s first run on Deadpool, we learned the reason why T-Ray hates him so much. You see, T-Ray reveals that he was the real Wade Wilson and that Mercedes was his wife and Deadpool was a killer whose life they had saved and he had become obsessed with their life and tried to kill Wade, who accidentally killed Mercedes. T-Ray survived, learned magic, and brought Mercedes back to mess with Deadpool. Whether T-Ray’s story is true or not is still up in the air.

9. GRETCHEN WILSON

Back in 2004, at the height of DC Comics’ blockbuster event series, Identity Crisis, which dealt with the dangers of letting people know your secret identity (as well as the dangers of shrunken flamethrowers), Marvel countered with a miniseries of their own called Identity Disc. The series was about the title object, a mysterious disc which allegedly holds all the secret identities of the superheroes in the Marvel Universe on it.

In a plot right out of The Usual Suspects, a group of criminals come together to hunt down the disc for reasons of their own and there are twists and turns galore as people get betrayed repeatedly, leading up to the ending of the series. In any event, each of the criminals is being coerced via a piece of information. Deadpool’s is the identity of a formerly unknown ex-wife named Gretchen.

8. OUTLAW

Outlaw is a mutant named Inez Temple who was picked on when she was a child in Texas and so has embraced the image of the “Outlaw” to get past the taunts from her childhood (where they would call her “Crazy Inez”). She has super strength, so she used her abilities to become a well-regarded mercenary. She flirted with Deadpool a number of times but after Deadpool was seemingly killed, she ended up befriending his replacement, Agent-X.

She ended up working for Agent-X in his mercenary agency and they began dating. After they broke up, Deadpool came to her for help in the miniseries Deadpool: Suicide Kings when he was framed for murder. Sadly, by visiting her, he put her in danger and her apartment was destroyed. At the end of the series, he replaced everything and remodeled her apartment; she thanked him by having sex with him.

7. BEATRIZ

During the short-lived series, Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth, Deadpool ended up teaming up with himself, or rather, the head of himself from the Marvel Zombies universe. Since he was a zombie, the head did not need a body to keep on living (or, rather, “unliving”). They split up at the end of the series, but soon after, Deadpool found himself recruiting a series of Deadpools from other realities to help save the multiverse.

He found “Headpool” on an island where a scientist combined The Island of Doctor Moreau with The Most Dangerous Game. He did experiments on people but also hunted people for sport. His daughter was obsessed with her dead husband. She mistook Deadpool for him, so they had sex. Deadpool then grabbed Headpool and got out of there.

6. BROKEN BLADE

As noted, a group of Deadpools teamed up to help save the Multiverse (Deadpool, Lady Deadpool, Kid Deadpool and Headpool) as the Deadpool Corps. A cosmic entity known as the Awareness was devouring the consciousness of the Multiverse, so the Deadpool Corps had to get to it to stop it. They needed a way of traveling in space, though, so they enlisted the smuggler known as the Broken Blade.

She had once been part of a dangerous space gang and when she wanted out, they tried to kill her but kept failing. Ultimately, they ceremonially “broke her blade” to show that she was disgraced. She embraced the name instead and help transport the Deadpool Corps to the Awareness. Along the way, she and Deadpool started a relationship.

5. PRINCESS TEELA

After they saved the Multiverse, the Deadpool Corps then began to hire themselves out as the top mercenary team in existence. They were hired by a space corporation to eliminate the rulers of a resources-rich planet whose native people did not want people to mine their planet. Once they arrive on the planet, Deadpool proposes to help the natives instead.

However, the team seemingly splits over whether to support the king, who wants to keep to his people’s traditional ways, or his daughter, Princess Teela, who wants to modernize the planet. Half of the Corps, including Deadpool, sided with the Princess (Deadpool did more than just side with her, of course). In the end, though, it turned out that Corps were playing the king and princess against each other while they robbed the planet blind.

4. ORKSA

Deadpool had some major problems when he tangled with the alien bounty hunter, Macho Gomez. After they crossed paths on a job, Deadpool seemingly killed Gomez. This then led Deadpool to track down Gomez’s employer, Funtzel Intergalactic Towing & Recovery. It was then that Deadpool discovered that Gomez was the husband of Orksa, the sister of Funtzel, owner of the agency.

When Deadpool kissed her to calm her down, he did not realize that he had technically proposed marriage. She accepted and the two were quickly married. After a short honeymoon, Deadpool discovered that one of Funtzel’s employees was in love with Orksa and he worked out a deal where he was ruled technically dead so that he and Orksa could get a space divorce.

3. CARMELITA CAMACHO

In one of the funniest issues of Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn’s run on Deadpool, we went back in time to the late 1970s, where Deadpool met a young woman named Carmelita Camacho. She was incredibly oversexed and when Deadpool was hired to protect her family’s bodega, Deadpool and Carmelita were captured. While being held hostage, Carmelita decided she wanted to experience sex if they were going to die soon, so they had sex.

The sequence was a brilliant parody by artist Scott Koblish of the famous sex scene between Nick Fury and the Contessa in Jim Steranko’s run on Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Sadly, a few issues later, in one of the darkest issues of the same run, Deadpool later learned that Camelita had been kidnapped and ultimately killed. It was at this point that Deadpool discovered that Carmelita had a kid, and that Deadpool was a father!!

2. SHIKLAH

Deadpool was hired by the lord of the vampires himself, Dracula, to find the monster known as Shiklah for him. Shiklah was a part of a race of monsters who predated man and vampires (vampires are sort of half-man/half-monster) and she was destined to marry Dracula to unite the vampires with her monster race. Instead, Deadpool decided that that was a bad idea, so when he found her, he kept her from Dracula and they ended up falling in love and getting married.

Eventually, being married to a human and being leader of a race of monsters was too much for Shiklah. After first trying to turn New York City into her own hell on Earth (which was a good thing for her), she ended up leaving Deadpool for Dracula, giving up their marriage and her reign as leader of her people.

1. WASP

During Marvel Super-Heroes’ Secret Wars, some of the world’s most powerful superheroes and supervillains were collected by the Beyonder to a faraway world where they were ordered to then fight for his amusement, with the winner getting anything that their heart desires. As it turns out, as shown in Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars, Deadpool was present the whole time!

His face was healed by the alien healer (who both Colossus and Human Torch fell in love with) and he ended up sleeping with Avengers leader, the Wasp. At the end of the series, as you might recall, the various heroes each got a “wish” granted (Captain America’s was to fix his shield). Deadpool’s was that he was never there, hence him now never being present for the storyline.

Who is your favorite Deadpool love interest? Let us know in the comments section!

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