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Nuts And Bolts: 15 Times A Robot Got Lucky

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Nuts And Bolts: 15 Times A Robot Got Lucky

There is a thought experiment called “The Chinese Room,” where the idea is that you could have a non-Chinese speaking person locked in a room with the information that you would use to program a robot how to speak Chinese. You could then give that person a letter in Chinese and he/she could use the information to program the robot to then translate the letter from Chinese to English. However, would the person then be considered to know Chinese? No, right? Well, then that’s the argument that the robot could never “know” anything, either. It could only ever be programmed with knowledge. It would never know things itself. Suffice it to say that in the world of comic books, that is not the case.

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In comic books, robots clearly not only “know” things, they also increasingly have feelings and emotions. Thus, there are robots who choose to love and those, then, that choose to express their love (and, okay, perhaps occasionally just lust) in the form of intercourse. Yup, we’re talking about the electric boogaloo, everyone! Behold, our sextensive list of 15 comic book robots (or synthetic beings, if you prefer) who have gotten busy!

15. DIKTOR

In 1962, French writer/artist Jean-Claude Forest began to serialize the adventures of Barbarella in the pages of V Magazine. Two years later, those strips were collected as a graphic album called simply Barbarella. The book was a sensation, as it was one of the first mainstream works of comic book erotica and certainly one of the most famous. It was soon adapted into a film starring Jane Fonda.

Barbarella travels the world in a sort of science fiction riff on The Odyssey, coming to planets and helping to liberate them, often having sex along the way. She is often captured herself, thus making her a co-liberator rather than simply a savior figure. On one of the planets, she has sex with the robot Diktor. She later meets a pleasure robot named Mado.

14. VISION

Vision was created by the evil robot, Ultron, to destroy the Avengers. Unfortunately for him,  Ultron ended up doing too good of a job making the android (or synthezoid if you prefer) human-like, as he ultimately broke from his creator’s control and decided to rescue the Avengers. The team then let him join them, leading to the famous statement, “Even an Android can cry.”

When the Scarlet Witch (who had been gone from the team when the Vision joined) returned, the two heroes fell in love and eventually got married. Through the use of some magic, the two were able to even have two children together! Later, though, the Vision’s emotions were essentially removed and the two broke up, with their children revealed to be manifestations of Scarlet Witch’s reality-altering powers.

13. RED TORNADO

In one of those bizarre coincidences that are abundant in comic book history, the Red Tornado and the Vision debuted within months of each other. In both instances, they were created as tools to destroy a major superhero team (Justice League and Avengers, respectively) and in both cases, they broke from their creators (Professor T.O. Morrow and Ultron, respectively) and decided to become superheroes instead.

Red Tornado was given a human-looking appearance and became John Smith. It was then that he met a job counselor named Kathy Sutton. They became friends and eventually fell in love. They even adopted a little girl together. Their sex life has never really been explored, but, well, they lived together and adopted a kid together, it seems highly unlikely that they weren’t having sex.

12. MACHINE MAN

Z2P45-9-X-51 was the last of a group of sentient robots who all went insane and were destroyed to save him. It was likely because their creator, Doctor Abel Stack, decided to treat Z2P45-9-X-51 as his son, giving him a human-looking face mask and naming him Aaron Stack. When Dr. Stack was then murdered, Aaron went on the run and took on the name Mister Machine and then Machine Man. He met up with a fellow robot, Jocasta, and they fell in love.

However, she was then destroyed by Ultron. Since she was a robot, she returned and years later, after Machine Man’s personality changed a lot (he was sick of trying to please humans) they were together again. Their sex life has never been explicit, but it is heavily implied that they’ve had sex with each other.

11. JOCASTA

After using the brainwave patterns of Wonder Man to create the Vision, Ultron then kidnapped the Wasp (wife of Ultron’s creator, Hank Pym, who we learned used his own brainwaves to create Ultron) and used her brainwaves to create Jocasta, designed to be Ultron’s bride. Ultron, though, kept creating robots and androids and used superhero brains and kept being disappointed that they weren’t down with his villainy.

Jocasta rejected him and became a sort of honorary Avenger. Years later, after the Wasp was killed, Hank Pym took on a new identity as the new Wasp and pursued a relationship with Jocasta. They kissed and it seemed to be implied that they’ve done more. Even if she didn’t lay with Hank, as we just noted, she almost surely did stuff with Machine Man.

10. ARNOLD

Inspired by Jean-Claude Forest, Spanish writer/artist Alfonso Azpiri introduced Lorna, who was his riff on Barbarella. Lorna is a space scout who travels around the universe looking for adventure. She also happens to be incredibly horny and while she certainly is able to satisfy her needs whenever she find a suitable planet, there are long gaps between planets. Luckily, she is a bio-chemistry genius, so she built her own pair of androids to help her.

Inspired by the Droids from Star Wars, ADL is like R2-D2 and Arnold is like C-3PO, except Arnold also has to have sex with Lorna. Azpiri’s first graphic album with Lorna was called Lorna and Her Robot and was released in the United States in 1981. Interestingly, decades later, Azpiri drew Bethlehem Steele for Penthouse Comix, about a rogue sex robot. Freed by her creator (who loved her), she joined up with space pirates.

9. SCUD

In the future world of Rob Schrab’s Scud the Disposable Assassin, assassin robots can be purchased in vending machines and they will then self-destruct after finishing their mission. Scud, though, decides to instead only severely injure his target, keeping his target alive and on a life support system so that he can live. He then takes on mercenary missions so that he can pay for the life support system bills.

He later encounters a bounty hunter sent after him named Sussudio. While she is initially antagonistic, we soon learn that she is a closet “robosexual” and is sexually attracted to Scud. She seduces him and they have sex together; in fact, a later issue has a flashback showing her forcing her robot butler to have sex with her when she was a teen. Scud and Sussudio eventually fall in love.

8. ASTROMAN

The hero known as Madman was resurrected by a scientist and given superpowers, as well as a new name, Frank Einstein, because he can’t remember his previous life. One of Madman’s closest friends in his new life was another scientist named Dr. Flem, who helped him with trying to regain memories of his past. Flem had a pair of helper robots, Marie and Warren, who thought that they would help Frank by creating a robot based on his brainwaves.

The problem is that this robot, Astroman, fell in love with Frank’s girlfriend, Joe. As it turned out, though, Marie and Warren had also created a female robot, Machina, based on Joe’s brain patterns! She was so jealous of Joe that she built another robot to kill Joe so that she could have Astroman for herself! Her plan was foiled and she apologized and then she and Astroman fell in love.

7. INDIGO

In Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day, a mysterious robot showed up from the future and it kept trying to repair itself when it met other mechanical beings, which caused the other mechanical beings to go haywire. This badly injured Cyborg and caused huge problems when the robot tried its self-repair process on a Superman robot, who went nuts and killed Titans Lilith and Donna Troy. The robot ultimately stopped the Superman robot.

The Titans disbanded and formed a new team, the Outsiders, in part to monitor the robot, now dubbed Indigo. She befriended her teammate, Switch, who was an offshoot of Metamorpho. They had lots of weird sex before Indigo eventually turned out to be a tool of Brainiac from the future. She had Switch use his powers to transmute her body to make her flesh, which would kill her in the process, but she would die a “real girl.”

6. VICTOR MANCHA

In the second volume of Runaways, the young heroes were warned that a young man named Victor Mancha, son of one of the world’s greatest villains, would grow up to become a deadly villain himself unless stopped now. They found Victor and his powers kicked in when he met the heroes. They soon learned that his “father” was none other than Ultron (he had brainwashed his mother into thinking she was her flesh and blood son). He was designed to be a sleeper agent.

Now that he knew his purpose, he joined the Runaways to help avoid that fate. Along the way, he ended up sleeping with his teammate, Nico Minoru, and they began to date. They broke up when Victor fell in love with a mutant in the past when the team had time traveled to 1907 New York.

5. SCARLET WITCH DOOMBOT

After the loss of her husband and her children, the Scarlet Witch’s mind became more and more unstable. After an encounter with Doctor Doom, she was manipulated further and basically snapped, tearing apart the Avengers and killing a few of her teammates, including her ex-husband, Vision, and her longtime friend, Hawkeye. During House of M, she resurrected Hawkeye. Following the events of House of M, Hawkeye tracked a now amnesiac Scarlet Witch and he made his peace with her. They also slept together.

Later on, when the Young Avengers went to go meet her (as two of their members believed themselves to be her children), they discovered that that Scarlet Witch was a robot created by Doctor Doom so that he could have her to himself and no one would know where she was. This news did not go over well with Hawkeye.

4. PRINCE ROBOT IV

Saga Prince Robot IV

In the world of Saga, there is a coalition of planets that is led by the planet Landfall, which is at war with its satellite, Wreath. Since they cannot destroy each other without devastating the surviving planet/moon, they instead farmed out their war to other planets. So when a citizen of Landfall marries and goes on the run with a citizen of Wreath, both sides want to hunt the couple down. From the Robot Kingdom, Prince Robot IV is sent to find them.

Prince Robot IV is first seen having sex with his wife, Princess Robot, but he is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder due to his two-year stint in the military and he has a hard time finishing with her. They still manage to have a child, who is born while he is on his mission to capture the fugitive couple, Alana and Marko.

3. DANGER

For years, the X-Men have trained in a special room called the Danger Room, filled with all sorts of props and robots to battle. When Professor Xavier got involved with the head of the Shi’ar Empire, however, he was able to upgrade the Danger Room and fill it with elaborate holograms. At the same time, though, Xavier learned that it was sentient. He didn’t seem to care for some reason, so he just let it do its job.

It rebelled and attacked the X-Men and it freed itself and became a robot being known as Danger. It reformed and joined the X-Men and Madison Jeffries, whose mutant power involved communicating with machines, fell in love with Danger. It is unclear if they ever had sex, though. Danger later joined X-Factor, where the robotic being, Warlock, was on the team. They ended up having sex.

2. CHESTER 5000

In Jess Fink’s brilliant graphic novel, Chester 5000, a newlywed Victorian inventor is far too busy to deal with his wife’s interest in sex, so he decides to instead to build Priscilla a robot, Chester 5000, that can handle her carnal desires while he can concentrate on his work. Robert was a little too good of a craftsman, as Chester then fell in love with Priscilla.

Meanwhile, Priscilla was shocked by how tender Chester 5000 was and how much he seemed to actually care about her, unlike her husband. So she and Chester fell in love. When Robert found out, he tried to separate the two and even sold Chester to someone else, but in the end, he had to concede that they were a better match than he and Priscilla ever were and Priscilla and Chester ended up living happily ever after.

1. VIRGINIA

In Tom King, Gabriel Hernandez Walta and Jordie Bellaire’s stunning Vision series, the Vision decides that he wants to fit in with everyday society, so he builds an android family: a wife, (Virginia;), son (Vin) and daughter (Viv). They move to the suburbs of Washington D.C. where he took on a job as a superhero liaison to the government.

As it turned out, though, there were some flaws in his plan, which were made clear when the Grim Reaper attacked his family while he was away and Virginia then beat the Reaper to death. The Vision was forced to cover up his wife’s crime and she thanked him by pursuing a natural part of marriage, having sex with each other. As the series progresses, we see just how far Virginia will go to protect her family.

Are there any other robo-mances that you can think of? Let us know in the comments section!

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