Modern Family is arguably the definitive sitcom of the 2010s. Its stories and characters are reflections of its viewers, "incorporat[ing] its own hashtag of simultaneous self-analysis." Modern Family went on to win an impressive 22 Emmys over the course of its eleven-season run, including five awards for Best Television Comedy.
The series follows the hilariously endearing misadventures of an extended family — the Dunphys, Pritchetts, and Tucker-Pritchetts might be separated by distance, but they remain deeply involved in each other's lives. Each character is blessed with a unique range of eccentricities, which consequently manifests in their styles of communication.
8 "When Life Gives You Lemonade, Make Lemons. Life Will Be All, ‘Whaaat?’" — Phil
Phil Dunphy offers audiences several snippets of "advice" throughout Modern Family. He believes in their potential so much he compiles his favorite sayings in a hardbound collection of quotes he refers to as Phil's-osophies. Of course, nearly none of his maxims have real-life value, but they certainly highlight Phil's adorably awkward personality.
His twist on the famous line "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" isn't as logical as he thinks it is. First of all, lemons cannot be made from lemonade, just like an egg cannot be unfried. Second, nobody wants to turn their tangy drink back into a bunch of sour fruits.
7 "The Leading Cause Of Death Among Colombian Women Is When Their Sons Get Married, But I’m Not Like That." — Gloria
Gloria's attachment to Manny is one of the focal points in Modern Family. She depends on Manny's presence, stating that her son was the only man in her life before she married Jay. As such, Gloria displays overt signs of jealousy when Manny calls his friend Kelly over for a study session.
She half-jokingly implies that Colombian women are innately envious of their son's partners, even to the point of death. Gloria gets more upset after watching Kelly and Manny together, declaring that she's "not going to let him make a mistake that's going to affect him for the rest of my life." A Freudian slip — she meant to say "his life."
6 "Success Is One Percent Inspiration, 98 Percent Perspiration, And Two Percent Attention To Detail." — Phil
Another classic Phil's-osophy is a play on Thomas Edison's quote "Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration." In Season 4's "Schooled", he says that "Success is one percent inspiration, 98% perspiration" before adding "and two percent attention to detail."
The irony in his statement is practically tangible. Not only does Phil fail to realize his numbers add up to 101%, but the basic premise of his proverb is self-defeating. Attention to detail requires an individual to know what they're talking about.
5 "She Left The Head Out There To Send A Message To The Other Rats." — Jay
A common trope in sitcoms revolves around the neighbor's annoying pet. In Seinfeld, Elaine kidnaps her neighbor's dog, but it eventually finds its way back home and gets her in serious trouble. Gloria goes through a similar problem, but her neighbor rebuffs her because he's never complained "about that obnoxious parrot [Gloria] that's always squawking."
The dog abruptly disappears, but Gloria denies any involvement. Jay doesn't trust her, saying that "she's always had a certain comfort level when it comes to... killing." Apparently, Gloria had decapitated a rat and "left the head out there to send a message to the other rats."
4 "Look At Them: A Minute Ago They Were Babies, And Now They’re Driving, And Soon We’ll All Be Dead." — Claire
Claire wants Phil to sell their old station wagon in order to make more room in the garage, but she develops an attachment for the car after discovering pieces of nostalgia inside, including Haley's Blankety and Luke's bottle of sunshine. Claire sadly tells her husband that losing the car feels like "that whole part of our life driving away," which is completely relatable.
However, she takes her feelings beyond the boundaries of common sense, saying "soon we'll all be dead" simply because her kids have just started driving. Phil tries to help her find the silver lining in his own special way: "You're leaving out a few great minutes there. Retirement, old age... cool chair that goes up the stairs."
3 "With Great Hotness Comes Great Responsibility." — Haley
Haley's rebellious nature is Claire's biggest pet peeve, partly because she sees herself in her teenage daughter. Although Haley is genuinely caring and sweet, she often uses her beauty and popularity as social currency. The bulk of Haley's mockery is directed at her little sister, mostly focusing on her relatively "uncool" appearance.
At one point, Alex accosts Haley for "avoiding Andy," but her big sister justifies her actions by saying that she's "been keeping [her] distance to protect him." Right as Alex praises Haley's maturity, the latter draws an absurd comparison between hotness and responsibility.
2 "I Remember My Own Father Holding My Hand. There Wasn’t A Dry Eye In The Cartel." — Gloria
Gloria's past is shrouded in mystery, at least by Modern Family standards. Before she immigrated to the US, she spent her early years in a small Colombian village, where she was subjected to harsh conditions, manual labor, and gang violence.
Gloria hints at a drug cartel connection during her childhood when she fondly discusses her own quinceañera. She "remembers [her] own father holding [her] hand" for the father-daughter dance, and that "there wasn't a dry eye in the cartel." Jay knows well enough not to question his wife's sudden revelations.
1 "Dance Until Your Feet Hurt, Sing Until Your Lungs Hurt, Act Until You're William Hurt." — Phil
Phil rarely ever runs out of his patented Phil's-osophies, including iconic ones like "If you love something, set it free — unless it's a tiger," and "If you’re ever in a jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache." One of his weirdest quotes happens to be "Dance until your feet hurt, sing until your lungs hurt, act until you're William Hurt."
William Hurt is a talented actor known for his roles in Doctor Who and Alien (1979), but Phil reduces him to a punchline for no reason other than rhyme. Phil's heart is in the right place, but it almost seems like his brain is somewhere else half the time.