Apparently being a prolific cartoonist, children's author, singer/songwriter and father of two leaves James Kochalka with a lot of time on his hands, because he recently created a hack of Super Mario Bros. where you get to play as him (or, rather, his pointy-eared elfin character) instead of Mario. And yes, by you, I mean you, the person reading this, as you can download the patch to the game right here. There's no other surprises. You don't get to fight Amy instead of the Koopas or Bowser. You're just controlling a pointy-eared, balding character instead of a red-hatted Italian stereotype. Really, that's not a bad trade-off.