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In zombie apocalypse, New Jersey will be fast food

by  in Comic News Comment

Robert Kirkman established more than a decade ago in The Walking Dead that no one is safe in a zombie apocalypse. It turns out, however, that when it comes to survival, location may be everything. And for those located in New Jersey … well, it’s been nice knowing you.

In its new ranking of the United States, real estate website Estately determines the Garden State is the least likely to survive a zombie apocalypse, followed by Mississippi, the District of Columbia, New York and  Georgia. My money would’ve been on the most obese states, in which case Mississippi would again be doomed. (Our condolences.)

“If the zombie apocalypse began today, and you live in New Jersey, the odds are 100 percent that you’ve already been bitten and have become a zombie,” the site regretfully 8.8 million residents. For Mississippi, Estately doesn’t mince words: “M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-Die. Everybody is going to die. From zombies.”

As for the safest? Alaska, trailed by Wyoming, Colorado, Idaho and New Mexico. I image their tourist boards are working on new campaigns as we speak.

To help arrive at these conclusions, Estately used 11 metrics to help measure fighting ability, knowledge of zombies, physical fitness and access to weapons in each state. For that, researchers scoured census figures on military veterans and active personnel, Facebook searches (for interests in zombies, survival skills, paintball, triathlons, et al) and data on gun ownership, obesity and health rates.

Alaska has the most military personnel, while New Mexico ranks first for knowledge of zombies. Rural states, for once, have a leg up on the more populated areas, as Estately’s map indicates the West Coast, most of the South, and the Mid-Atlantic are pretty much doomed.

But then there’s that red block amid a swath of green, “zombie-free” states in the country’s interior. Estately could only offer this explanation: “Something’s wrong with Nebraska.”