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The 15 Most Gratifying Bedroom Powers

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The 15 Most Gratifying Bedroom Powers

13Most of the time when we think of superheroes, we think of how awesome it would be to possess any one of their amazing powers. Their abilities let them do a variety of unimaginable things, like manipulate the matter around them, move at unimaginable speeds, or affect entire solar systems with a single sneeze. We wonder how we would go about living our daily lives with their powers, and what sorts of situations would change if we could be super for a day. For all the dynamic ways in which superheroes are different from us, they still do many of the same things we do, like eat, sleep, exercise, hang out, and get busy in the bedroom. 

RELATED: Fam Jams: 15 Times Related Characters Got Too Close

We aren’t always privy to the romantic lives of superheroes, but we do know they have the same yearning for connection and intimacy. They don’t want their superpowers to be a detriment to them finding a partner, but rather a way to enhance it, and make their experience even better. CBR explores what it would be like to stretch various bodily appendages, command the attributes of animals, and harness all manner of crazy abilities in its list of the 15 wildest powers to use in the bedroom.

15. STORM’S WEATHER MANIPULATION

storm

In her own tribe, Storm is revered as a deity. She is also one of the most powerful members of the X-Men. She is known as the Weather Witch, and possesses the ability to control and manipulate the weather in any environment she chooses. She can even control it in other universes and galaxies. This involves changing atmospheric pressures, manifesting lightning, making rain happen regardless of altitude, and creating all manner of natural disasters (including earthquakes, typhoons, flash floods, and earthquakes).

Since all of these are connected to her emotions, imagine the insanity of trying to be romantically involved with someone who, in a moment of passion, created a series of lightning bolts, or a flash flood. Her body temperature would start to compensate for whatever environmental changes were occurring, while yours would remain the same. Talk about “feeling the earth move”.

14. LOKI’S SHAPE-SHIFTING

Loki_Laufeyson

Who doesn’t love getting up to a little mischief? Especially with the one who invented it? Getting down and dirty with a god could mean some serious transcendent pleasure, especially if they can take different forms. He can even switch sexes, like when he took possession of Sif, so if you’re down for some experimenting Loki is your shapeshifter.

He even has the power to turn the mighty Thor into a frog, and during the “Acts of Vengeance” storyline, he manipulated several of the most elite super-villains into waging wars against superheroes at his discretion. Absolute power is absolutely sexy, especially if it comes with a throne to inherit! And because he once bed the giantess Angerboda, he has experience satisfying ladies of all shapes and sizes. Living life by your own rules, with the power to back your plays, is as liberating as it is a turn on.

13. POISON IVY’S CONTROL OVER PLANTS

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Sure, it’s well known that Poison Ivy has the ability to cast hypnotic “love spells” of sorts with the use of pheromones, and that she can manipulate plants to do her bidding. How far that extends can mean the difference between a lonely night in with nothing but your houseplants or a full on arboreal flesh fest.

Poison Ivy has the ability to make plants grow to extreme size and even take on the shape of creatures or humanoid beings, all one with her mind and speaking with her voice. She’ll shower you with rose petals, tie you up with vines, and tickle you with bottle brushes. Mix up a few cocktails (with a little dash of miracle grow for your plant pals) and see things get interesting as she and her succulents lavish you with all sorts of special attention.

12. LADY DEATHSTRIKE’S ADAMANTIUM ENHANCEMENTS

lady deathstrike

When daddy is the one that created the adamantium bonding process that gave the likes of Wolverine his claws, it makes sense that you’d want in on some of that action. Getting cybernetic enhancements along with adamantium claws ensures you will be feared and, with a little martial arts training, garner you the title of being one of the most fearsome assassins around.

With a physically unbreakable skeletal structure and the addition of superhuman strength, agility, and stamina, she could go round after round. The only downside is her emotional instability, which sometimes affects her concentration. But her commitment to seeing something through to completion is infamous, as she pursued Wolverine over several continents and plains of existence just to have the pleasure of killing him.

11. SPIDER-MAN’S WEBBING

Peter Parker can do a lot of crazy things with that stringy stuff that shoots out of him, and who hasn’t wondered how it could be used in the bedroom? Now, one version of Spider-Man has him creating his own web shooters because he’s an incredibly gifted scientist/mathematician/genius that put them in his Spidey suit.

The other version has the web-like substance shoot directly from his wrists, due to the location the radioactive spider bit him. Since the latter version makes his powers super rather than merely an engineered ability, it’s reasonable to assume they would affect his body chemistry. Imagine how many calories secreting that much organic material would demand to keep his energy up? After he strings you up in all kinds of interesting positions, you can go for an insane amount of tacos.

10. MYSTIQUE’S SHAPESHIFTING

MYSTIQUE

Imagine there was someone you had a huge crush on, like a celebrity or a coworker, or someone that you wanted to be intimate with but not necessarily pursue romantically. Mystique is here for you! With the ability to mimic anyone’s appearance and voice, she can literally be your different fantasy every night.

She already made the proposition to Gambit that if she assumed Rogue’s form and they had sex, he wouldn’t really be cheating on his girlfriend, so even if you were already attached, who could argue with that logic? Don’t think about it too long, though — Mystique is fickle, and is often off to seduce the next person before you know it. She’s also been known to get busy with Beast, so it’s fair to say she has no preferences.

9. MR. FANTASTIC’S MALLEABILITY

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With the ability to elongate and stretch parts of his body, Mr. Fantastic has a great advantage over mere mortals when it comes to getting busy. Since he can stretch his body into any shape he wants, the possibilities for amorous acrobatics are almost endless. From wrapping himself around you several times, to making his fingers incredibly long, he can put his limbs to good use in any way, and from any distance.

Imagine you’re minding your own business in the kitchen when a hand slides around your waist from the garage? Talk about a tease! He can also manipulate his facial features, as he did when attempting to live a more normal life with Sue Storm after the breakup of the Fantastic Four. A perfect skill for if you want to do a bit of role-playing.

8. HELA’S MAGIC

hela thor ragnorak blanchett

The Queen of Hel and Asgardian Goddess of Death may seem like an intimidating bedfellow, but given that she has the power to create illusions and astral project, her fierce persona deserves to be overlooked. Sure, she can’t exactly touch you or you’ll die instantly, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t fun to be had. Someone that can hide the great Bifrost Bridge, and turn day to night simply by walking into a room, and alter the appearance of the Nine Realms themselves can set the mood for all sorts of antics.

When Thor broke the cycle of Ragnorak and Hela found herself without a realm to control, she positioned herself on Earth, with Las Vegas as her new kingdom. A supremely powerful, beautiful dark goddess with Sin City as her playground sounds like the components for the perfect getaway romantic weekend.

7. SUE STORM’S INVISIBILITY

sue-storm-invisible-woman

Sue Storm is a desirable woman, no question about it, as both the romantic interest of Reed Richards and the romantic obsession of Dr. Doom. As beguiling as she is, though, her ability to become invisible makes up for the fact that you can no longer look at her in a skin tight suit.

Being able to turn invisible doesn’t just have advantages in the bedroom when you’re alone with a partner, to be able to work them up into a frenzy with teasing caresses — it has infinitely more appeal outside of it, when to no one’s knowledge but your own and your partner’s, you’re getting felt up. It would make grocery shopping, errands, and movie dates much less mundane and a lot more taboo.

6. DR. STRANGE’S CLAIRVOYANCE

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What do you do with a man who can wield mystical energy, summon the powers of deities, and cast spells that manipulate time and space? Anything you want! He could use spells to bind you in place, make your body be pulsed with periodic energy waves that continuously wash over you and, if that wasn’t to your liking, use the Orb of Agamotto to determine exactly what you wanted.

His ability to read your mind would reveal your greatest pleasure points to him, as well as your darkest desires. To someone who is well versed in magic, and even on occasion the dark arts, no want would be too bizarre to his sensibilities. Besides, he once had a relationship with a dead girl, so you can bet he’s into some freaky stuff himself.

5. VIXEN’S ANIMAL AFFINITY

vixen

Vixen could not be more aptly named — a former model that was endowed with the power to take on the characteristics of any animal on earth. This is done by making direct contact with a morphogenetic field on Earth called the “Red”, and focusing on a particular animal until its abilities manifest themselves to her. Because she can mimic their abilities, the variety of superpowers she can have are quite extensive.

This doesn’t just extend to lame things like squirrels — she can mimic the abilities of mythical animals (dragons), extinct animals (dinosaurs), as well as multiple animals at a time (i.e., an entire forest). In the bedroom, that translates to a lot of different abilities, from moving like a python, to purring like a kitten, to running sharpened nails along sensitive body parts.

4. SUPERMAN’S FREEZE BREATH

superman breath

Sure, Superman has super strength and the ability to shoot lasers out of his eyes, but what about his extreme Mentos breath? He can freeze entire cities, and when things get too hot, he can cool you down, too. While yes, witnessing someone shoot death out of their eyes is cooler than watching them pucker up and blow really hard, only one is in any way pleasurable.

After he’s looked you over with his X-ray vision and lit the fireplace with this heat vision, the super fun begins. A little experimenting with temperature can be had by covering the bed in a thin dusting of ice, or maybe just certain parts of your body, or maybe just to cool down the hot candle wax you’re using.

3. WONDER WOMAN’S MULTILINGUALISM

While some gods, like Aphrodite, chose to bless Wonder Woman with exceptional beauty (a great gift, to be sure, but not always the most practical against enemies that will still try to kill you), Athena decided to bless Wonder Woman with the ability to speak the native tongue of anyone she encounters. While the Amazons of her world knew thousands of languages, Wonder Woman is the greatest of their kind, and therefore knows infinitely more, with her list constantly expanding.

Imagine being able to whisper sweet nothings into your partner’s ear in dozens of languages, and knowing that no language barrier could come between how dirty she can talk to someone, or they to her. And if you weren’t up for talking, she can always tie you up with her lasso of truth.

2. CASSANDRA NOVA’S PSIONIC POWERS

Technically the twin-sister of Charles Xavier (having dwelled inside his mind since birth before copying his DNA and exiting his body) Cassandra Nova can almost be seen as an “alter ego”, more evil aspect of a person’s inner most being (especially since she gained all the “potential” power Charles had). Were she sexual in nature, her mental possession abilities, which involve a parasitic form of telepathy, could create a fascinating link with her partner that explored potentially disturbing sides of themselves.

Though incredibly ruthless, as her thirst for control and annihilation of all perceived threats to her existence did make her engage with members of the X-Men, she prefers to use her ability to mentally control people over physical violence. This could make for some very fascinating roleplay scenarios, ones that may occur without you being fully in control of yourself, with only arresting images as reminders of your tryst.

1. EMMA FROST’S DIAMOND FORM

Emma Frost in diamond form flexing bicep

Emma Frost is as known for her revealing outfit as she is for her inherent psychic ability, and in AvX: Consequences #23 actually cited high heeled footwear as a superior addition to her ensemble. But it’s the diamond form she takes on during extreme mutation that is the most fascinating. In that state, she has no need for food or water, her mind reading abilities are not usable, and she can’t be destroyed.

She also possesses superhuman strength when in diamond form, and feels no pain. Now, though it’s true she cannot feel emotions, nothing has been stated she can’t feel pleasure in the purely biological sense. The only question is, would you be injured trying to be romantically involved with a diamond, and would you be willing to find out?

Are there any other pleasing powers that we missed out on? Let us know in the comments!

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