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Five Goofiest Moments in the First Five Issues of Teen Titans

by  in Comic News Comment

Every day this month will have the five goofiest moment from a five-issue stretch of a particular comic book run. Once a week it will be the ten goofiest moments of a ten-issue stretch. Here is a list of the moments featured so far.

Today we’re looking at the first five issues of the Teen Titans, by Bob Haney and Nick Cardy, from 1966.

As always, this is all in good fun. I don’t mean any of this as a serious criticism of the comics in question. Great comics often have goofy moments (Kirby/Lee’s Fantastic Four is one of the best comic book runs of all-time and there were TONS of goofy stuff in those 100 plus issues!).

What’s interesting from these issues is how there is a relative LACK of goofiness in them. I mean, while sure, they have giant robot conquistadors…


and a guy named Ding-Dong-Daddy Dowd who runs an evil Hot Rod shop that makes custom vehicles for crooks (using high school drop outs for labor)…


but those seem to be pretty typical for comics of the era. Otherwise, these comics were pretty darn straightforward. It is surprising, because Haney wrote PLENTY of goofy comics. It is just interesting to note how straightforward these first few Titans tales are. Still, even with a relative paucity of goofy moments there are always some goofy moments!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Demonstration that comics don’t have audio…

This is less a note about Teen Titans as much as it is a general “complaint” about comics. The way characters refer to other characters by their initials. It works really well on the page, but if you try to say it out loud, it doesn’t sound right at all. No one would ever call someone named Green Lantern “G.L.” Just like they wouldn’t call Wonder Girl “W.G.” Hell, “W.G” actually has more syllables in it than “Wonder Girl” (4 to 3). And yet…


Robin and the Robinettes!

In #1, the Titans are offered a gig with the Peace Corps. Here is their reaction…


I just love the idea of Robin deciding for the whole group. And I like Wonder Girl’s logic in going along with it. “Eh, he’s normally right, so let’s let him make our decisions for us.”

A series of Wonder Girl vignettes…

Yikes, Aqualad!

This is more than a little overly harsh, no?


Imagine if there weren’t a dance called The Frug?

Then this Wonder Girl dialogue would really sound dirty…


Stay on target, Wonder Girl, stay on target…

While the rest of the Titans worry about the disappearance of an athlete, Wonder Girl has a different take on the situation…


Imagine other instances… “He’s cute, he could kidnap my heart just as well as he did those children!” “What a cutie! He can triple homicide me any day!”

5. Are you questioning the government? What are you, a commie, Robin?

Batman delivers an odd take on trust in the government in #3…


“Big Brother is watching out for you, Robin!”

4. Some Dark Knight Detective…

In #1, Batman’s detecting skills don’t exactly impress…


Also, you’re a millionaire, Batman! What, you couldn’t spring for the dime to at least buy a copy of the newspaper? “Eh, I’m really not all that interested in what Robin gets up to when he’s not around.”

3. The Third World nation of Paradise Island…

In #1, Queen Hippolyta has an odd reaction the news of Wonder Girl’s involvement in the Peace Corps…


I just love the idea of a bunch of young Americans helping the Amazons with, like, irrigation…

2. That’s some dedicated training right there…

You have to love that the Titans have a set “anti-robot defense”…


1. Worst blackmail ever?

In #5, the Titans investigate a graduate of a school for troubled kids who they fear has turned to a life of crime as the costumed criminal known as the Ant. We learn that he is, indeed, working as a criminal, but it is not of his own volition, he is being blackmailed into it by some bad guys who are holding the following over his head…


Yes, a picture of his younger brother hanging out with a known gang. For this, he’s become a criminal? Not too smart there, Ant!