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Five Goofiest Moments in the First Five Issues of Marvel Two-in-One

by  in Comic News Comment

Every week, I’ll examine the five goofiest moments from a five-issue stretch of a particular comic book series. Here is a list of the moments featured so far.

This week, we look at Marvel Two-in-One #1-5, written by Steve Gerber and drawn by Gil Kane (pencils on #1-2), Sal Buscema (pencils on #3-5), Joe Sinnott (inks on #1-3), Frank Giacoia (inks on #4) and Mike Esposito (inks on #5)

As always, this is all in good fun. I don’t mean any of this as a serious criticism of the comics in question. Not only were these writers certainly never imagining people still reading these comics decades after they were written, great comics often have goofy moments (Kirby/Lee’s Fantastic Four is one of the best comic book runs of all-time and there were TONS of goofy stuff in those 100 plus issues!).

HONORABLE MENTIONS

This one has been a consistent ever since the early days of the FF, but I just love how the Thing just doesn’t give a shit if he breaks stuff.


“I could place this weight down carefully, or I could just chuck it on to the ground and break the floor. Guess which option I’m picking?”

One of the supporting characters in the first few issues of the series was Wundarr, a parody of sorts of Superman, only if Superman did not come out of his rocket until he was in his 20s so he still had the mind of a child. Wundarr caused some problems in #4, and Cap goes to take care of it but the Thing cuts him off to explain the situation. I love Cap’s reaction…


It is not that Cap is out of line in his reaction, I just like the juxtaposition of “Have some understanding, Cap.” and Cap is all, “What?!?! Understanding?!!?”

In #3, Daredevil’s billy club is stuck on the top of the Baxter Building. DD goes to retrieve it, but then…


Miller should have had DD say this during “Born Again.” “No fair, Kingpin!!”

In #5, Cap and the Thing are in the future and team-up with the Guardians of the Galaxy, who show up in dramatic fashion…



However, the fight ends…


And Cap doesn’t ONCE bemoan the poor Baddoons who were killed in the fight! Cap doesn’t even bring it up again! Way goofy.

Sharon Carter also came along on the mission. That is fine by me, as she is, indeed, a trained SHIELD agent. But shouldn’t a trained SHIELD agent, you know, prepare for this dangerous mission instead of just wearing the same outfit she was wearing on her date with Cap earlier in the issue?


She doesn’t even bring a weapon!

Wundarr, as noted, has the mind of a child. So you get some awesomely goofy sights like this…


Speaking of Wundarr, here is how he originally looked…


Reed Richards designs a suit to deal with the fact that Wundarr is constantly sucking up energy. How he designs it is pretty funny…


As seen from the last suit Reed designed before this one….


Reed sure loves him the barechest look!

5. A SHIELD agent’s place is in the kitchen.

So Sharon and Cap go visit the Baxter Building (this is during one of the times Sue was off the team. Medusa was her replacement). So you have Cap, Reed, Ben, SHIELD Agent Sharon Carter and Inhuman royalty Medusa. So, of course, they serve their menfolk…


Yikes.

4. Agents of Hate

In #3, we meet Nekra (who is working with an organization that had brainwashed Black Widow), who really, really likes to hate…


I mean, seriously, she loves hate…


No, really, she LOVES hate…


HATE!!!!!

3. Not the clearest thinking

In #1, Ben and Man-Thing face off against the son of the Molecule Man, whose magic wand is causing all sorts of trouble (he even kills a dude). He is separated from it and he dies, so what does Ben do with the magic wand?


Dude, you can’t just give a wand to a kid!!! “It didn’t work right away” does not equal “it will never work again”!!

2. That’s one way to wrap things up…

Clearly, by #3, Gerber had tired of the Wundarr plot. So he writes him off in the most hilariously half-assed way…



“Hey, two college girls want to take care of a super-powered man with the mind of a child! Sure, that makes sense to me!”

1. That’s one way to start things up…

Similarly, when Gerber wanted to get the Thing to interact with the Man-Thing in #1, he used an equally half-assed reason for the Thing to want to interact with the Man-Thing….trademark issues!



Hilarious.

And wow, what amazing art from Kane and Sinnott!!