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Five Goofiest Moments in the First Five Issues Featuring the All-New, All-Different X-Men

by  in Comic News Comment

Every day this month will have the five goofiest moment from a five-issue stretch of a particular comic book run. Once a week it will be the ten goofiest moments of a ten-issue stretch. Here is a list of the moments featured so far.

Today we begin a two-part look at the first ten issues featuring the All-New, All-Different X-Men. Today we’re looking at the first five issues featuring the All-New, All-Different X-Men, specifically Giant-Size X-Men #1 and X-Men #94-97. The issues were written by Len Wein (sole writer of Giant-Size #1, plotter of X-Men #94-95), Chris Claremont (co-writer of X-Men #94-96, sole writer of #97) and Bill Mantlo (plot assist on #96) and drawn by Dave Cockrum (pencils on all the issues, inks on Giant-Size X-Men #1), Bob McLeod (inks on #94) and Sam Grainger (inks on #95-97).

As always, this is all in good fun. I don’t mean any of this as a serious criticism of the comics in question. Not only were these writers certainly never imagining people still reading these comics decades after they were written, great comics often have goofy moments (Kirby/Lee’s Fantastic Four is one of the best comic book runs of all-time and there were TONS of goofy stuff in those 100 plus issues!).

HONORABLE MENTIONS

In #94, we get our very first Claremontian speech…


In Giant-Size X-Men #1, dig the casual racism of the X-Men…


I’m just glad we didn’t see Storm get out of ear shot…

Two extreme ends of the X-Men levels of studies…

On the one end, we see Havok and Polaris somehow pursuing DOCORATES out of nowhere…


on the other hand, Banshee is barely literate?


Yikes.

5. Dramatic delivery…

In Giant-Size X-Men #1, Sunfire agrees to help Xavier…



Note how Sunfire knows best how to deliver a dramatic line. I can just see him telling Xavier…”wait here while I get dressed then let’s go outside while I finish my thought”

4. Dude, that is a word balloon not a thought bubble!!!

In #96, Stephen Lang probably should either not say that stuff out loud or not say it when the guy he is talking about is still visible!


3. If that’s how his powers work, we’re all screwed…

In #95, Cyclops is being mind-controlled by a bad guy…


Huh? Opening his eyes wide makes the visor open? That’s not good for anybody, especially when he is on the same team with ladies as scantily clad as the X-Men!

2. Wow, you just love to lie for no reason, don’t you?

We all know that Professor X loves to lie, but lying that scientist (and ex-girlfriend) Moira MacTaggert was his housekeeper…just what was he hoping to gain from such a deception?


Just uncool, Xavier.

1. Speaking of uncool, Xavier…

Check out how Xavier recruited John Proudstar…


I don’t know what is goofier, Xavier’s strategy (which, you note, he used a variation with on Banshee above) or Proudstar just instantly going along with it. Clearly, no one has ever used reverse psychology on him before.

Finally, as an added bit of goofiness, I love Xavier’s thoughts at the end of the page. Carry the world down into ruin? Yikes.