TOP

Five Goofiest Moments in the Captain America Feature in Tales of Suspense #91-95

by  in Comic News Comment

Every day this month will have the five goofiest moment from a five-issue stretch of a particular comic book run. Once a week it will be the ten goofiest moments of a ten-issue stretch. Here is a list of the moments featured so far.

I was going to begin with the first five issues of Captain America’s late-60s solo magazine (#100-104), but then I realized that A. Those issues continued directly from Cap’s Tales of Suspense issues, so it wouldn’t be like I was giving the “real” first five issues of the story and, perhaps more importantly B. skipping over the end of his Tales of Suspense run involved skipping over one of the goofiest moments in the entire Silver Age of Marvel Comics. So here we go, Tales of Suspense #91-95, scripted by Stan Lee, penciled by Gil Kane (#91) and Jack Kirby (#92-95) and inked by Joe Sinnott.

As always, this is all in good fun. I don’t mean any of this as a serious criticism of the comics in question. Not only were these writers certainly never imagining people still reading these comics decades after they were written, great comics often have goofy moments (Kirby/Lee’s Fantastic Four is one of the best comic book runs of all-time and there were TONS of goofy stuff in those 100 plus issues!).

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I suppose that since Cap is still sort of stuck in the mindset of a World War II soldier, the notion of proposing to a woman on very short notice is not THAT odd, which is why this moment from #95 is not lower on the list…


Still, dude had met her only TWICE at this point and he’s already proposing to her?

Slow down there, Cap!

From #94, I love this sound effect when Agent 13 karate chops a bad guy…


In #92, the agents of AIM don’t fully trust that Agent 13 is actually betrating SHIELD…


so she gives them proof…


Only isn’t that really, really weak proof? “To prove that I am not conspiring with SHIELD, here’s a tape recording of Nick Fury saying he’ll be at the spot I say he’ll be.” Doesn’t that basically prove NOTHING? Impressively enough, though, the AIM agents basically say, “Eh, if you’re wrong we’ll just kill you, so it’s no big deal.”

In #91, the Red Skull has used some sort of hypnotic machine to take control of the minds of the crew of an experimental nuclear submarine. Luckily, Captain America knows his way around nuclear subs, including…


The button that cancels out hypnotic devices?! Huh?

5. We get it Stan, we get it!

In #93, Sharon Carter lays the situation between Cap and her out for us readers…


And in #94, she decides to do so again…


What is that, her catch phrase?

4. Oh…yeah…anti-polar clothing…of course!

In #93, Cap is being held captive by a magnetic force beam. Luckily, Agent 13 is wearing…sigh…anti-polar cover-alls!


Yep, anti-polar cover-alls…awesome.

3. We must keep Quicksilver up to date on the U.S. military at all times…

In #91, we learn that the Avengers are given routine updates of America’s defense setups, including where all their nuclear submarines are…


Uhmmm…why? Do we really need the freakin’ Wasp to know this stuff?

2. Is that you, Cap, or just a brilliant disguise?

After Cap’s brilliant move in #91 of canceling out the Red Skull’s hypnotic device, the Skull orders the crew to kill Cap and then leave the submarine. Cap’s plan to stop the Skull involves the Skull not realizing that they have not gotten rid of Cap. So him leaving disguised as a member of the crew is very important to his plan to stop the Skull.

So why can’t he take off his stupid mask for five minutes to make sure he isn’t caught?!


1. The goofiest moment in Marvel’s Silver Age?

In #92, Cap is fighting against an artificial life form created by AIM to kill Nick Fury. Cap regains his composure and makes one of the greatest declarations in superhero history…



Hilariously awesome.