Parodies of Fifty Shades of Grey began appearing almost as soon as E.L. James’ erotic novel arrived in stores in 2011. There’s Fifty Shames of Earl Grey, Fifty Shames of Lame, Fifty Shades of Gravy … well, you get the picture. But I’m not sure anyone was prepared for “Fifty Shades of MODOK.”
I mean, how can you prepare for that?
Described as “A young woman’s erotic awakening at the proportionally tiny hands of a megalomaniacal supervillain, as told to @kitblonde,” the new blog is pretty much as advertised, with Anastasia Steele encountering not Christian Grey, the young business magnate with a taste for BDSM, but instead MODOK, the classic Marvel villain with an enormous head and matching ego, and apparent volume-control issues. Here’s a taste:
His lair is way too big for just one man, if he can even technically be called a man. In front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, there’s a huge modern dark-wood desk that six people could comfortably eat around if it weren’t strewn with the refuse from probably a hundred different highly illegal biological experiments. It matches the coffee table by the couch. Everything else is white with subtle red flecks – ceiling, floors, and walls except, on the wall by the door, where a mosaic of small paintings hang, thirty-six of them arranged in a square. They are exquisite – a series of images of Captain America suffering intense humiliation at the hands of MODOK himself, rendered in such precise detail they look like photographs. Displayed together, they are breathtaking.
“A local artist! Red Skull! HE IS INFERIOR BUT WILL PROVIDE ME WITH SERVICES IN EXCHANGE FOR CURRENCY,” shouts MODOK when he catches my gaze.
Soon enough, Anastasia learns that this mobile organism isn’t designed only for killing, as she succumbs to his undeniable charms: “‘You. Are. So. Sweet. You. Inferior. Mental. Gnat,’ he shouts in my face, each word a staccato.”
It’s … definitely something. Not erotic, exactly. However, I’m willing to wager it’s better than the original.