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15 Fictional Weapons You Want (But Would Definitely Kill You IRL)

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15 Fictional Weapons You Want (But Would Definitely Kill You IRL)

Some characters and stories become known for their unique and specific weapons. Be it a ring that gives intergalactic cops superpowers, an indestructible shield or a weapon with a chosen wielder, pop culture is full of memorable and iconic weapons. And, as it is with pop culture, the lovers of these stories and weapons will often fantasize about having these weapons in real life, some even cosplay with spot-on replicas of them. However, some of the coolest geek weapons are not all they’re cracked up to be. In fact, there are some that would just be plain dangerous in real life, to both the user and everyone around them!

RELATED: Throwing Hands: The 15 Bloodiest Fist Fights in Comic Book History

Sometimes, there’s a reason the weapons are so unique in the context of their stories, or why they can only be wielded by a chosen few. As much as we’d like to fly around in a suit of armor, there’s probably a lot more precision and engineering knowledge required in piloting it. The same goes for magical-destiny-type swords, there’s a reason only the chosen one can use it. Plus, some geeky weapons are just plain dangerous, and no one should have the power they hold. In fact, some of these geeky weapons would definitely kill us in real life.

15. BOXING GLOVE ARROW

green-arrow-boxing-glove-arrow

Oliver Queen has quite the arsenal of trick arrows in his quiver, some more useful than others. Perhaps the silliest one of them all is the boxing glove arrow. However, despite its silliness, it’s hard to deny how iconic it has become. With the boxing glove at the head, Oliver Queen can use this trick arrow to knock out criminals from afar. How the aerodynamics of this strange weapon work are a little confusing, but it’s comics, so try not to think about it too hard.

Still, though it’s possible that the arrow would still fly with a giant boxing glove on the front, there’s no guarantee it would fly straight, or with enough force to actually do some damage. Plus, in the hands of an unskilled archer, someone would definitely get hurt, or even killed, by a gigantic flying fist.

14. FIRE FLOWER

Second only to the mushroom as Mario’s most famous power-up, the fire flowers gives its user temporary pyrokinesis. Along with a red-and-white costume change, grabbing a fire flower in every Mario game allows the player an extra health-point and the power to shoot tiny bouncing fireballs. However, it’s not hard to see the dangers of this kind of power-up in real life.

First of all, how exactly does the upgrade work? Is the fire flower ingested somehow? If so is it taken orally or… the other way. Even if it’s just magically absorbed, the fireballs aren’t exactly a straight shoot, and their bouncy nature might result in a lot of wildfires. Plus, what happens when an animal comes across the fire flower? Would there just be fire-powered squirrels running around if they were real?!

13. CLOAK OF LEVITATION

The Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the Cloak of Levitation featured in Doctor Strange is a bit different from its comics counterpart, which is what makes it more dangerous. The cloak is imbued with magical power, giving it and its user the ability to levitate and fly. While this sounds cool, the MCU version comes with a bit of a drawback — it has a mind of its own.

As much fun as the ability to fly with a rather stylish cape would be, the whole “living garment” thing might be a problem. The Cloak of Levitation is an ancient relic that has not chosen a master in quite some time, probably because it’s kind of a jerk. Having the Cloak in real life would be like having a stubborn flying cat who’s your only way to work. Think about what might happen if you upset the cloak mid-flight?

12. CAPTAIN COLD’S GUN

Unlike Mr. Freeze’s cold gun, which Captain Cold consider’s sloppy, Leonard Snart’s cold gun is a much more advanced weapon. The gun was designed and built by Snart, who based it on a reverse of the concept within a cyclotron. The gun can slow the molecules of nearly anything, causing them to stop moving completely. As a result, Captain Cold can use this gun to freeze anything he aims at.

While the gun does have the benefit of a reverse function, imagine the slapstick humor that would ensue from a cold gun. All the slipping and sliding from the ice would lead to some pretty nutty accidents that would probably result in freezing yourself and everyone else around you. Plus, the gun itself must get pretty cold, and you might drop it. Who knows what happens when a freeze ray breaks apart!

11. CAP’S SHEILD

Captain America: Civil War shield

Forged from two of Marvel’s fictional metals, adamantium and vibranium, Captain America’s shield is nearly indestructible. The adamantium is insanely strong and durable, while the vibranium is capable of absorbing energy instantly. Through these elements and Cap’s smarts, strength and skills, the patriotic hero is able to use the shield both as a defensive tool and as a projectile that returns to him through calculated ricochet attacks.

However, were the shield to really exist, we once again run into the problem of novices using a very complicated weapon. The shield might seem like a simple circular defense weapon, but there is so much more to it. Were a civilian without Cap’s strength to use it, we can assure you that it would be pin-balling everywhere, knocking out or even decapitating everyone it hits.

10. BLUE BEETLE SCARAB

The Blue Scarab is one of many aliens that were engineered by The Reach as a means of secretly taking over planets. Having been banned by the Green Lantern Corps from conquering any more planets, The Reach used the scarabs to take over a host on target worlds. The Scarab imbues the host with superhuman abilities, but also turns them into an agent of The Reach, allowing them to take over the planet.

That right there is enough to second guess wanting the Blue Beetle armor in real life, since, you know, you’d be a freaking mindless agent of an alien invasion! Even if the Scarab didn’t take over your brain, like with Jaime Reyes, there’s still the chance that you’d get yourself killed by all of the crazy, hard to understand alien features of the armor.

9. MJOLNIR

Aside from its name being near-impossible to pronounce for some, the hammer of Thor seems like a pretty sweet thing to have in real life. It is a formidable, durable and immensely powerful weapon in combat; it can command the elements of storms and even gives the user the power to fly, albeit in a strange way. Yup, Mjolnir sounds like the coolest weapon to have in real life, but allow us to burst that fantasy bubble.

Looking past the fact that you must be worthy to lift it, you ever try to fight with a hammer? Not exactly the most precise weapon. Plus, trying to fly with it? Insanely unsafe. Using Mjolnir to fly basically means throwing yourself hammer-first at the general direction you want to go, then helicoptering the thing around on a leather strap to stay afloat. Right… that doesn’t sound dangerous at all, especially if you don’t have the power of a god to match!

8. THE LASSO OF TRUTH

We’ve always had one question about Wonder Woman’s famous lasso of truth, if it compels anyone who touches it to tell the truth, then does Wonder Woman herself never lie when she’s using it? That’s just one of the concerns we have with the lasso, which isn’t as great as it seems. The lasso, like its wielder, was created by William Moulton Marston, one of the people who first conceptualized the lie detector. The Lasso was both based on Marston’s invention and served as an extension for feminine charm, which he believed coerced the truth.

But if this magical rope existed in real life, not only do you run into the problem of being unable to lie if you had it wrapped around your hand, think about the ramifications of the power. Let’s just say we’re lucky that Wonder Woman tends to use the lasso for justice instead of proving a point.

7. WOLVERINE’S CLAWS

wolverine-claws-poster-for-x-men

Are organic claws considered a weapon? Whatever. Pushing semantics aside, Wolverine’s adamantium-laced claws are some of the coolest and most beloved weapons in all of pop culture. The claws are retractable and are stronger and sharper than any substance known to man. The claws come out between Logan’s knuckles so, as the line from the first X-Men movie goes: “Does it hurt when they come out?” “Every time.”

Therein lies the problem, since Wolverine also has a mutant healing factor, the cuts that his claws make in order to to pop out are instantly healed after they retract. If these claws existed in real life, the healing factor would have to come with the package, or else the pain and bleeding from constantly opening a wound would be enough to kill even the toughest person.

6. GREEN LANTERN RING

First-Green-Lantern-Rings

The peak of the highly advanced technology of the Oans comes in the form of the green power rings. The rings are given to the Green Lantern Guardians and pull their energy from both the main power battery on Oa and the willpower of the user. With a ring in hand, guardians have the ability to create hard-light green energy constructs, shoot energy blasts, fly and survive in nearly any environment.

Seems pretty cool right? The ability to create anything your imagination can think of would be a great power to have, but people tend to forget that willpower is the key to operating a green power ring. Feeling unmotivated, lazy or afraid completely shuts down all functions of the ring. We challenge you to not get scared when you’re in space, flying or fighting some evil space monster. Good luck using that ring, folks.

5. IRON MAN ARMOR

MCU Quiz Iron Man

Iron Man’s armor is a highly complex power suit that enhances his strength, speed, durability and is fitted with a massive arsenal of weapons including repulsor beams, which also serve as flight enhancements. That definitely sounds cool, and ever since the release of Iron Man in 2008, the character has continuously risen in popularity thanks to his duds. So, what’s not to love about his armor, which basically makes him a superhuman?

The biggest problem with the suit is the fact that it’s basically like a human-shaped car thats constantly getting into accidents. Let us explain: whenever a car stops short, the people in it keep moving, which is what results in injuries ranging from a concussion to a snapped neck. Now apply this to the suit, simply moving too fast in the thing would liquify your body, not to mention the G-forces alone would annihilate you and any concussive force — no matter how powerful the stabilizers — would probably snap you in half.

4. LIGHTSABER

Lightsaber

Can you think of a more iconic weapon in all of cinema? The collective imagination of the world was immediately captured by the first Star Wars film, and everyone immediately wanted to get their hands on their very own lightsaber. The lightsaber, like its name implies, is an energy sword and the main weapon used by the Jedi knights. The Jedi are trained extensively in the use of their lightsabers, which are used much like Japanese Katana swords.

However, there’s one problem with owning a real life lightsaber, light is weightless, meaning the saber itself has no balance. Even a highly-skilled swordsman would have trouble using a lightsaber, since it would be like swinging a flashlight around. Further, what happens when a lightsaber is left on and someone drops it? That can’t be pretty.

3. WEB SHOOTERS

Spider-Man’s web shooters are a creation of his own design, powered by his very own web formula. Talk about ingenuity! The shooters are designed to allow Spidey to web up criminals and swing from the skyscrapers of New York City. They’re one of, if not the coolest “weapons” and methods of travel in all of comic books. However, as much as we want them in real life, we’d run into a few problems.

For one thing, running out of web seems like a constant problem for Peter and anyone without spider-powers would easily fall to their death. The bigger problem, however, is the fact that the force it would take for the shooters to shoot out webs would also propel the user the other direction with the same amount of force. Meaning, every time you shot a web, you’d be immediately knocked backwards.

2. BATARANGS

Of the Dark Knight’s many bat-themed gadgets, the batarang has been a staple of Batman comics for decades. At first the batarang was a weapon fitting to its namesake, acting as a bat-shaped boomerang that would attack opponents before returning to Batman. However, as the years went on, batarangs became more like shuriken, tiny projectiles that Batman used to either stab criminals from afar or to knock guns out of their hands.

While shuriken and boomerangs can actually work when thrown by trained professionals, the bat-motif of the batarangs wouldn’t work quite as well. If they were meant to return to the thrower, the carved-in bat wings would throw off the flight patterns and definitely take out a few eyes. And the shuriken type batarang isn’t any better, most likely cutting the thrower more than the target.

1. THE INFINITY GAUNTLET

As more news and footage is released regarding Avengers: Infinity War, comic and movie fans alike are looking more into the Infinity Gauntlet. The Infinity Gauntlet is powered by the Infinity Stones (originally called the soul gems) each of which have their own ability. There’s the soul stone, the time stone, the space stone, the mind stone, the reality stone and the power stone. Each of these are immensely powerful on their own, but when combined in the Infinity Gauntlet, they give the user total control over all of reality.

In other words, wielding the Infinity Gauntlet essentially makes the wielder a god. The Infinity Gauntlet isn’t exactly dangerous on its own and only does what its user wishes. Meaning, it might not kill the user, but the Infinity Gauntlet has been used to wipe the universe from existence. One errant thought and you could literally end everything.

Which of these weapons do you think would be the most dangerous one to wield? Let us know in the comments!

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