Drawing Crazy Patterns Archive

by  in Comic News Comment
Drawing Crazy Patterns Archive

Here are all of the installments of Drawing Crazy Patterns that we have published so far. They each feature five comic book moments/scenes that coincide with a particular theme or topic. The latest additions are at the end of the list. I also specially marked each example of what we call a CLAREMONTISM, something that Chris Claremont specifically liked to repeat in his work.

1. Times Hal Jordan received blunt head trauma during the Silver Age.

2. Times Juggernaut’s helmet was removed

3. Times a character “Bwah Ha Ha”ed.

4. Patriotic Comic Book Moments About the United States

5. The SHIELD Helicarrier Crashing

6. Elektra’s sais cutting through people’s backs and flesh but being halted by the fronts of their shirts

7. CLAREMONTISM: Psylocke telling everyone that her psychic knife is the “focused totality of her telepathic powers”

8. Superboy telling everyone he has tactile telekinesis

9. The Hulk complaining about why humans never leave Hulk alone.

10. CLAREMONTISM: The X-Men Playing Baseball

11. Times Someone Other Than Colossus Has Done a “Fastball Special” With Wolverine

12. Failed attempts by Mister Fantastic to cure The Thing of his cosmic mutation

13. The Joker falling to his “death”

14. Dramatic Last Page Reveals of Magneto

15. Comic Book Decapitations (WARNING: Some of the pages contain, well, you know, decapitations – you might not want to see that)

16. Wolverine Threatening to “Pop” His Middle Claw

17. People Learning Batman’s Secret Identity Right Before Dying

18. Avengers Announcing a New Roster With a Press Conference

19. People Who Look Exactly Like Superman/Clark Kent

20. Fastball Specials Without Colossus OR Wolverine!

21. Batman Using Special Costumes

22. Doctor Doom Seemingly Being Killed

23. Flash Stories Ending With Iris West Complaining ABout Barry Allen

24. Jean Grey “Dying”

25. Green Arrow Copying Batman

26. Hawkeye Quitting the Avengers

27. Grant Morrison-Penned Characters Threatening to Inflict or Actually Inflicting Brain Trauma

28. Green Arrow(s) Quitting the Justice League(s)

29. Women Who Just Look Exactly Like Lois Lane

30. Lois Lane Trying to Learn Superman’s Secret Identity

31. Spider-Man Lifting Heavy Objects

32. CLAREMONTISM: Cannonball Explaining How He is Near Invulnerable WHen He is “Blastin'”

33. Batman Vanishing on Commissioner Gordon

34. The Watcher Interfering While Noting That He Cannot Interfere

35. Steve Rogers is Captain America No More!

36. Peter Parker is Spider-Man No More!

37. Other Characters Lifting Thor’s Hammer

38. Spider-Man…Unmasked!

39. CLAREMONTISM: Wolverine and Colossus Execute the Fastball Special!

40. Captain America; Unbreakable Shield Breaks!

41. Just How Easy Was it to Travel to Krypton Before it Exploded?

42. Superhero Spankings!

43. Avengers’ Quinjets Crashing!

44. The X-Mansion Being Destroyed

45. Iron Man Has to Go Back to Using an Old Armor!

46. “Nick Fury Is…Dead!”

47. What is it With Spider-Man and Bridges?

48. CLAREMONTISM: “No Quarter Asked, None Given”

49. CLAREMONTISM: “Bang. You Dead!”

50. The Thing’s Floating Superhero Poker Game

51. S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents Become Super-Villains!

52. The Inmates All Escape From Arkham Asylum

53. Thor Encounters Ragnarok

54. Kitty Pryde Gives an Impassioned Speech

55. Marvel Characters Visiting the Offices of Marvel Comics

56. CLAREMONTISM: “I’m The Best There Is At What I Do”

57. Comic Creators Officiating Superhero Weddings

58. CLAREMONTISM: “I Got Better”

59. Jason Todd’s Memorial in the Batcave Getting Smashed

60. Daredevil’s Dead Girlfriends

61. Avengers Falling for the Scarlet Witch

62. Batman and Superman Meeting for the First Time!

63. Lesser Known Batman Impersonators

64. Justice League of America Headquarters Being Destroyed

65. The Many Dead Loves of Wolverine

66. Wolverine Crying

67. “It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…It’s Some Guy!”

68. The Entire Marvel Earth is Destroyed! Wait, Now It’s Back!

69. “Ach, Nein, Not ANOTHER X-Jet Destroyed!”

70. Mind Control Causes Batman and Superman to Fight

71. Knowing Daredevil’s Secret Identity Can be Dangerous for Your Health!

If you have suggestions for future installments, please e-mail me at! Don’t post your suggestions in the comments section (this way, they remain a surprise).