(suggested by sgt rawk)

Why read those three books when you can read the Roy Thomas-penned Marvel Illustrated versions? Eh?

Anyway, those aren't the three books required to conquer the world. The following three, however, would do just nicely:

1. If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor, by Bruce Campbell

2. The Dilbert Future, by Scott Adams

3. There's a Monster at the End of This Book, by Grover

Do you dare wield the STAGGERING POWER!?

(If you only want to conquer part of the world, however, you can substitute in The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman, Superfudge by Judy Blume and Everybody Poops by someone who poops.)