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Thor In The Morning: 15 Characters Who Felt Thor’s “Hammer”

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Thor In The Morning: 15 Characters Who Felt Thor’s “Hammer”

One of the interesting effects of the Comics Code on the progression of comic book history is that it dramatically stunted the sexual nature of comic books for decades. During the Golden Age, comic books were occasionally of a sexual nature, but once the Comics Code was introduced, things got so stunted that you really couldn’t even have Catwoman show up in Batman comic books because she would be considered too sexy. That is the environment that Thor was introduced into in Journey Into Mystery #83 in 1963. Thor surely had his great loves (he tried to give up godhood for one of them, even) but it was always a chaste love.

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As the Comics Code restrictions relaxed (it was always a self-governing body, so it was pretty easy to get it to relax its restrictions as time went by and the hysteria of the 1950s passed), Thor, like other characters, finally got to express his love in a sexual nature with his romantic interests. Once this gate was opened, though, some characters, like Thor, were thrust fully through and now Thor has retroactively become a Lothario. He’s not the only Thor, though, who has gotten busy. Here are 15 characters that Thor (either Odinson or another) have had sex with over the years (Odinson’s loves first and then the others).

15. JANE FOSTER

When Thor launched as a feature in Journey Into Mystery, one of the recurring subplots was that Don Blake (Thor’s secret identity) had a nurse named Jane Foster who was in love with Blake, but also felt that Blake was a wimp. So she also fell in love with Thor, who was so much more manly than Blake. It was the classic Lois Lane/Clark Kent/Superman triangle.

Things got even more complicated when Thor decided that he was just going to be with Jane Foster and tried to get her made into a god, because that can apparently happen. That failed, however, and eventually, so, too did their relationship. Speaking of the whole retconned Lothario aspect, Thor later admitted that he had repeatedly cheated on her while they were together.

14. SIF

As noted, when Thor was launched, it was a straightforward “Don Blake is Thor’s secret identity” situation. However, that soon transitioned into “Don Blake and Thor are two separate people.” This allowed Jack Kirby and Stan Lee to delve into the Norse myths more, as Thor was now a god with a past and not just someone who Don Blake transforms into when he hits a cane on the ground.

Thor’s major love interest as a god was the Lady Sif, a great Norse warrior who was Thor’s equal on the battlefield as much as she was in the bedroom. They have seemingly been ready to get married a number of times over the course of the series but it always falls apart. It was only recently (the last decade or so) that we actually got to see them actually go to bed together, though.

13. BRUNHILDE

One of the problems with dealing with actual mythological characters is that sometimes you will want to use certain aspects of a character’s mythological past but you’ve already established that the character is much different from their mythological basis. In a fascinating story arc leading up to Thor #300, though, Roy Thomas and Mark Gruenwald decided to reveal that the superheroes Thor and Valkyrie were actually the characters in Richard Wagner’s famous The Ring of the Nibelung opera series.

So, Thor was Siegfried and Valkyrie was Brunhilde (naturally, since her character actually was named Brunhilde) and they were lovers just like in the opera. When it all ended, Odin resurrected them and erased their memories of the events of their love. It is debatable if this is even still in continuity, since it’s never been referenced since.

12. MOONDRAGON

Few comic book characters have had quite the dramatic swings in behavior as the superhero known as Moondragon. She was introduced as the extremely subtlety named Madame McEvil, but soon reformed as the heroic Moondragon (it helped when she discovered that her father, who she thought she had lost as a child, had been recreated as the heroic Drax the Destroyer). She was even made a member of the Avengers!

However, while traveling with her father, they came to a planet where she decided to instill peace… by using her mental powers to take over everyone’s free will! Her father escaped and brought the Avengers to stop her. She then proceeded to use her powers to rape Thor and make him her consort. When she killed her own father in battle, she realized how wrong everything had gone and she surrendered.

11. LORELEI

Thor’s mind was once again controlled when it came to a scheme involving his brother, Loki and Lorelei, the beautiful younger sister of Amora, the Enchantress. Loki schemed to have Lorelei seduce his brother. Loki used her relationship with her sister to drive her into the plan, as she would succeed in seducing Thor where her sister had always failed.

When Odin seemingly died, though, Loki decided to kickstart things through a love spell that bound Thor to Lorelei. His plan was for Lorelei to insist to Thor that Loki be made king of Asgard. Amora foiled the plan by using a love spell to make Lorelei fall in love with Loki and when Thor found them in bed together, his rage at the betrayal helped break the spell.

10. ENCHANTRESS

The aforementioned Amora, the Enchantress, had long used her feminine wiles to seduce men into doing her bidding, especially her most loyal subject, Skurge the Executioner. When we first met Enchantress, she was actually seducing Thor for his father, Odin! Odin wanted Thor to drop Jane Foster, so he had Amora try to seduce Thor. It failed.

She tried many times to woo Thor, but during a great crisis when the World Tree was under attack and Thor had been cast down to Earth by Odin, Thor actually willingly turned to Amora, who was also trapped on Earth, and the two began dating. This lasted until Thor seemingly died during the battle against Onslaught. When he returned from that adventure, he moved on from his relationship with Amora and the two have not been together since.

9. DARK VALKYRIE

By far the craziest relationship (literally) that Thor has had with a woman was his relationship with the Dark Valkyrie. After Thor had been replaced by the mortal Eric Masterson for a number of months due to Thor seemingly murdering Loki, Thor returned and seemed set to marry Sif. Things did not work out that way, as Thor came down with a case of “Warrior Madness.” The Dark Valkyrie showed up and he dumped Sif and began having sex with the Dark Valkyrie.

Of course, it turned out that the Dark Valkyrie was just a manifestation of Thor’s damaged psyche. So it opens up the question of what, exactly, he was doing when he thought he was having sex with her. In any event, Moondragon then accidentally turned her into a physical being. Ultimately, she was re-merged with Thor and his sanity was returned.

8. VILLAGE OF VIKING SHIELDMAIDEN

As noted earlier, in recent years, Thor has been retconned a bit as a Lothario. For years, the only relationships we ever saw him involved in were with Jane Foster, Sif and Brunhilde, but during Jason Aaron’s excellent run on Thor, beginning with Thor: God of Thunder, we now see that Thor has been loving and leaving women for literally centuries.

In one early story, Thor has slept with all the women in a small viking village and we later see him in bed with two Viking shield maiden when he first encountered the God-Butcher. This new take on Thor’s love life seems to have caught on, as it follows the idea that Odinson, for many years, was very much a roustabout who was “unworthy” of his famous hammer.

7. ULTIMATE JANE FOSTER

In the Ultimate Universe, Thor is dramatically reinterpreted as a progressive environmentalist and anarchist who speaks truth to power, but also, you know, has a giant hammer that he can crush people with. His adventures with the Ultimates, coupled with his teachings, lead to him becoming worshiped by a group of people on Earth. One of them was a nurse named Jane Foster who quit her job to follow Thor.

In the second volume of Ultimates, the rest of the team is convinced that Thor is not really a god at all, but rather a mentally unbalanced individual with scientific weapons meant to recreate his powers. This is all proven to be a trick by Loki. However, Jane always stood by Thor; he remembered that and the two began to date and lived together for quite a while.

6. ULTIMATE VALKYRIE

At some point, Thor ended things with Jane and pursued a relationship with the Ultimate version of Valkyrie. She was originally introduced as “Thor-Girl,” a member of the Defenders, a superhero group that Hank Pym joined not knowing that their members were really all wannabes (Thor-Girl, for instance, barely even knows martial arts). Later, though, she was given superpowers and joined the Ultimates along with Thor, who she was now dating.

When Valkyrie was killed in battle, Thor traveled to Hela’s dimension to bring her back to life. He ultimately decided to sacrifice himself so that she could be returned to the living. Now alive, Valkyrie was distraught over Thor’s sacrifice for her, so she ultimately ended up returning the favor and trading her life to bring Thor back to life to stop an attack by Loki. She showed up again, alive, but now a servant of Hela.

5. ULTIMATE HELA

As noted, Thor traveled to Hela’s dimension to bring Valkyrie back to life. Hela forced Thor to fight an army of the undead and if he won, she would then bring Valkyrie back… for a price. As it turned out, that price was Thor himself. He had to stay behind in Valkyrie’s place. He agreed. Over time, though, he missed Valkyrie so much that he went to Hela and asked if there was anything he could do to return to the living.

Hela agreed to release him under two conditions. The first was that she wanted an heir, so the two had sex and Thor impregnated her. The other part was that someone had to trade places with him, and sadly that person turned out to be Valkyrie. Stupid dramatic irony! Thor and Hela’s son, Modi, turned out to be evil and Thor had to kill him.

4. SALLA

In the future, the world is dominated by a seemingly omnipotent company known only as The Corporation. Dargo Ktor and his girlfriend, Salla, were among the people who were so oppressed that they turned to a cult that worshiped Thor’s hammer, which had been discovered lodged in some wreckage. As part of the cult’s ceremonies, people would each get a chance to try to lift the hammer.

Dargo was growing sick of how pointless this whole thing was when the Corporation attacked the cultists. Needing a weapon, Dargo grabbed for the hammer and was transformed into Thor! He continued to fight against the Corporation in the future. He and Salla married and she helped keep his secret. Tragically, she was later murdered by Loki and Dargo had to reform the Avengers to stop Loki’s evil plans.

3. SIF (AGAIN… KINDA)

Even before Lorelei literally got Thor into a love spell, she and Loki were already causing problems by Loki impersonating Thor and having him make out with Lorelei where Lady Sif could see. When Thor was then under the spell with Lorelei, he rebuked Sif again. During this time, Beta Ray Bill had been hanging out with the Asgardians and Sif grew close to the gentle alien who had been proven worthy of wielding Mjolnir.

They left for an adventure together on Earth and spent months together before Sif decided to return to Asgard, as she had discovered that Thor’s cruelty to her was out of his control. While it wasn’t clear at the time, Sif later on referenced the two as being lovers, so presumably that happened during their long trip together.

2. TI ASHA RA

When we first met Beta Ray Bill, he was serving as the protector of his people, who had lost their planet and then set off on a journey to find a new place to live. They all went into cryogenic sleep and Beta Ray Bill and his sentient ship, Skuttlebutt, protected them. They eventually found a new planet to live (before this point, Beta Ray Bill had met Thor and gotten his own version of Mjolnir).

Tragically, Galactus then destroyed this planet, killing Bill’s people. Bill then began destroying any planet Galactus was going to eat before Galactus got there. This led to a corruption of Beta Ray Bill’s soul and he became unworthy of his hammer. He realized that Galactus was just a cosmic force and Galactus rewarded his newfound knowledge by resurrecting a woman of Beta Ray Bill’s race, Ti Asha Ra, so they could restart their race.

1. CAPTAIN AMERICA

When Odinson also grew unworthy of his hammer, Mjolnir was lifted by Jane Foster, who became the new Thor. She took on a number of Odinson’s old duties, including becoming a member of the Avengers. After one of their battles, Thor then celebrated their win with a big kiss with the similarly new Captain America (Sam Wilson), telling him that life is brief, they should make it count.

A few issues later, in All-New, All-Different Avengers #6, Captain America discovered Thor’s secret identity as Jane Foster. Now that he knew her secret, he offered to go to her chemotherapy appointments with her. The two developed a romance and, at least according to some racy texts later discovered by government agents trying to prove Jane was Thor, the relationship became a sexual one.

Which Marvel character would you like Thor to get romantically involved with? Let us know in the comments section!

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