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Broken News: Jeph Loeb Totally Glad Everyone Is Mad At James Robinson And Not Him

by  in Comic News Comment

(Disclaimer: This is satire. Or parody. Some sort of comedic, protected speech that no one can sue me, Brian, or Jonah over. Trust me. It’s also 100% a figment of my imagination. So, hopefully, I’ll only face scorn from the comments section over not being “funny” or “coherent” or “not worthy of existing”, or whatever pretentious liberal artsy criticisms those snobs have.)

“You sure did me a solid by writing that awful JLA comic,” Loeb was overheard saying to Robinson at Comic Con, according to Broken News’s crack spies on the convention floor.*

“I mean, it was really starting to get to me, all of the people on blogs and message boards talking about how terrible my work was,” Loeb confessed to Robinson in a down moment between panels and signings. At a men’s room urinal.

“Especially at Comics Should Be Good,” Loeb continued. “Despite my decades long career as a working writer, you can only have skin so thick, and that T. guy is pretty scathing. I’ll admit, he made me cry a couple times.”

Robinson was apparently silent on the matter, as he (understandably) was quite dumbfounded that any colleague would so casually denigrate his work. Especially that hack Jeph Loeb.

“I mean, you should see the stuff I have planned for Ultimatum 2: Ultimatumer!” Loeb said, following, Robinson out of the men’s room. “It’s awful! I’m really not trying anymore! But man, people probably won’t even notice now that you’re the new whipping boy! Especially when they see that scene where Green Arrow talks about that threesome with Huntress and Lady Blackhawk that Didio was passing around the original art for at DC’s secret mobile frat house! That will even make the Hulk/Wasp necrophilia scene seem tame, somehow!” By this point, Robinson was making a hasty retreat out of the convention center, towards his hotel, and Loeb was yelling this at him. With a bullhorn. I have no idea why no one else broke this. Or why it took so long to post this.***

*This squad consists of winos, hobos, Lou Ferigno, and Twilight fans. The real dregs of society, in other words.**

**Just kidding. Everyone but Twilight fans are okay in my book.

***Yeah I do. I forgot it existed.