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9 Characters Joseph Gordon-Levitt Shouldn’t Play In Dark Knight Rises

by  in Comic News, Movie News Comment
9 Characters Joseph Gordon-Levitt Shouldn’t Play In <i>Dark Knight Rises</i>

With Joseph Gordon-Levitt now being rumored to join Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises alongside Inception co-star Tom Hardy, it’s fair to wonder just what Nolan is up to with his final Batmovie. For one thing, don’t we already have enough name actors in this movie? And for another, just who will Gordon-Levitt play? Here are some characters I really hope the acclaimed star of 3rd Rock From The Sun doesn’t take on.

Since news broke that Gordon-Levitt was angling for a role in the third and final part of Nolan’s trilogy of Dark Knight Detecting (Admittedly, the “detecting” part has been somewhat lacking so far, but there’s still time), there’s been speculation about whose shoes Levitt could fill. Considering that Nolan chose the Scarecrow as his first villain, it’s safe to say that all characters in Bathistory may be up for grabs, so let’s make things easier for him by pointing out who Gordon-Levitt shouldn’t play.

The Riddler
Yes, fans have been expecting the character to appear in this film pretty much since The Dark Knight was released – Anyone remember the “David Tennant will play the Riddler” rumor from a couple of years ago? – and, yes, Gordon-Levitt’s face has that special “punchable” quality that you’d hope the Riddler would have. But still: We already have two villains in the movie, it seems; adding a third would be overkill.

The Joker
There are rumors that Gordon-Levitt may end up cameoing as a recast Joker, replacing the late Heath Ledger. There aren’t really the right words to fully explain why this is a terrible idea, disrespectful to Ledger – easily the best thing about The Dark Knight -and completely unnecessary. Here’s hoping it’s entirely wrong.

Robin
Am I the only person whose first thought when reading about Gordon-Levitt being involved in the movie was “He’ll play Dick Grayson”? I can’t even explain why, it just seemed natural, for some reason. That doesn’t make it a good idea; if nothing else, Gordon-Levitt is too old for the role, and Bale’s Batman too grumpy to consider a brightly-colored sidekick. Adding a Robin would seem ridiculous in this version of events.

Damien Wayne/Terry McGuinness/Any Future Batman
Nolan, in interviews, has talked about The Dark Knight Rises bringing Bruce Wayne’s story to a close. So what are the odds of a flash-forward epilogue, featuring an all-new, all-different Batman? If there’s any justice, long, long odds indeed. Leave the franchising of the character to Grant Morrison and DC Comics, thank you very much.

Young Bruce Wayne
If, as Nolan has said, The Dark Knight Rises is about Bruce Wayne’s story, as opposed to Batman’s, perhaps we’ll see flashbacks to Bruce’s youth, traveling the world and learning how to become Christian Bale. While Gordon-Levitt has the acting chops to match Bale, though, there’s only a seven year age difference between the two, making the idea of JGL being a younger Wayne slightly unlikely. Unless it’s “just barely younger. Like, you know, a couple of years or something.”

Thomas Wayne
Similarly, if Rises is Bruce’s story, what about a flashback featuring his father? Surely Gordon-Levitt could play an upstanding member of Gotham’s upper-class without breaking a sweat … but would seeing Batman’s Daddy Issues brought to life really make a better movie? I don’t think so, and I don’t think you do, either.

Superman
What if Henry Cavill is just a swerve, and Gordon-Levitt is the new Man of Steel? You have to admit, it’d make Batman seem more impressive if he was standing next to a smaller, poutier Superman, and a Superman cameo would definitely surprise fans and give the movie some more buzz, but… Yeah, this would be pretty much a “You know who’d make a good Superman? Nic Cage!” level bad idea all ’round.

Catwoman
Well, we all know Gordon-Levitt likes to go for challenging, unexpected roles, and this would be a way of getting around the online furor over whether or not Anne Hathaway is attractive enough to play Batman’s feline femme fatale … But, yeah, let’s just go with “No.”

Cobra Commander
Who wouldn’t want to see a crossover between Batman and GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra?!? Especially considering how subtle and nuanced Gordon-Levitt’s portrayal of Cobra Commander was? I mean, that’s box office gold right there …!

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