GEOFF JOHNS, famous ‘naturist,’ writes all books starting with a vowel or consonant for DC Comics, where he has an exclusive contract for a thousand thousand years, and is strangely likeable, considering his popularity. He’s writing Hawkman, Flash, JSA, and TITANS currently but by morning he may actually get a real workload.
ANDY DIGGLE wrote the very entertaining LADY CONSTANTINE and JUDGE DREAD vs. ALIENS. He’s also got SNOW/TIGER coming in April from 2000 AD, and THE LOSERS coming from Vertigo in June. Check out his Web site, which has no nude pictures of Aliens.
Anything I say about SCOTT MORSE is just going to sound like butt-kissing, so I’m sticking with the fact that he’s one of the creators whose work is an automatic pick-up for me, no questions asked. SOULWIND, VISITATIONS, VOLCANIC REVOLVER and MAGIC PICKLE are all from Oni Press and highly highly recommended.
VAL STAPLES is the writer of the popular MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE comic for MV CREATIONS, which I understand has plenty of near-nudity. Can an Easy-Bake Oven graphic novel be far behind?
TY TEMPLETON daily commits the sins of being both a HIPPIE and a CANADIAN, but bless his heart for writing the brilliant Vertigo graphic novel BIGG TIME, and the upcoming HUMAN DEFENSE LEAGUE. He’s done some of the best Batman stories ever, and also the cult fave MAD DOG.
All stories about BILL JEMAS are true. He’s been part of the team revitalizing Marvel and he also hates goodness and decency. He was in the second touring company of OH, CALCUTTA. He writes Marville, and will be co-writing the Tsunami title SUB-MARINER with indy genius Andi Watson. He’s also funny. He’s had some guys wacked, I heard.
JIMMY PALMIOTTI, inker extraordinaire, is now perhaps even more renowned as the co-creating force behind MARVEL KNIGHTS and writer of several critically-acclaimed books (with Justin Gray), such as 21 DOWN, THE RESISTANCE, and BEAUTIFUL KILLER. He also is fascinated by panties. I don’t even have to hear that from him to know it’s true. The Delphi Forum is http://forums.delphiforums.com/PAPERFILMS. The pervy swervy soft and curvy site is brooklynbizarro.com.
Pretty soon they’re just going to start throwing awards at GREG RUCKA from the back seats of moving cars to save time. Writer of Queen and Country, Whiteout, many many Bat-books and the upcoming WOLVERINE relaunch, Greg is also writer of the excellent Atticus Kodiak novels, Smoker, Finder, and others. Highly recommended by me.
RON ZIMMERMAN is the living embodiment of all that is evil, according to some freak on a message board somewhere. Ron’s written for SEVENTH HEAVEN, HOWARD STERN, and many other similarly-themed programs, and is currently developing a series for Disney. In comics, he’s written the severely under-rated ULTIMATE ADVENTURES, as well as GET KRAVEN, RAWHIDE KID, and SPIDER-MAN: SWEET CHARITY. Even when he’s DRESSED, he’s naked.
ANTONY JOHNSTON is the extremely talented writer of DANGEROUS CURVES, ROSEMARY’S BACKPACK, and a new fave of mine, THREE DAYS IN EUROPE. Upcoming books include, “THE COURTYARD and ANOTHER SUBURBAN ROMANCE from Avatar, and EMILY SPOOK and CLOSER still to come from Oni.” Check Antony’s hot fleshy website at www.mostlyblack.com
RON MARZ killed all the Green Lanterns and the innocence of thousands of fans. When not sunbathing topless, he writes SCION and CHIMERA for CrossGen, and plays a LOT of softball.
BRIAN JOINES writes the cult favorite 7 GUYS OF JUSTICE for CRIMINAL GENIUS ENTERTAINMENT. Very funny stuff, and he actually has a character in the book I created as a joke, MR. HAPPY JETPACK. Upcoming projects include the graphic novel, THE TAKING OF HAPPYLAND and the upcoming mini series BIFF SPARTACUS – PEST CONTROL from Platinum Studios.
Don’t mess with MICAH WRIGHT. Micah writes STORMWATCH: TEAM ACHILLES, as well as works for television and the fabulously recommended BACK THE ATTACK: REMIXED WAR PROPOGANDA, guaranteed to give some right-wingers a heart attack. And, as a former Army Ranger, he can crush your windpipe with his chin, but will most likely just destroy you with his excellent debating skills.
DAN L. TAYLOR writes one of the most pleasant discoveries of the San Diego con, SUPER HERO HAPPY HOUR. Someone should snatch this guy up for more books, if this charming/funny/sad slice of life with supers in a bar is any indication. More info at Geekpunk.com
BATTON LASH is the whiz kid behind the long-running and Eisner-winning SUPERNATURAL LAW, as well as the writer of the hilarious RADIOACTIVE MAN, which you all should be reading. He’s also a sweetheart, I say. He gave me a bunch of copies of SL at the San Diego con last year and now I’m hooked.
While people were bitching that it was impossible to create horror stories in comics that were both commercially and critically successful, STEVE NILES went out and did just that, and so of course, we all hate him. But 30 DAYS OF NIGHT is too good to hate. Get it from IDW Publishing. Info about DARK DAYS (the sequel to 30 DAYS) and the upcoming Cal McDonald mystery CRIMINAL MACABRE at Steveniles.com.
MARK MILLAR is that rarest of things, a clean Scotsman. He’s also the gifted writer of the best-selling ULTIMATES and ULTIMATE X-MEN comics, as well as the upcoming TROUBLE for EPIC, and WITCHBLADE for Top Cow. Love ya, Mark. Mark also has a column here at CBR when time permits, and his own www.millarworld.biz site.
CHUCK AUSTEN, rarely-clothed, formerly known mostly as an artist, now writes half the books in the universe, and not just comics, either, but ALL BOOKS EVERYWHERE! THE CALL, WAR MACHINE, SUPERMAN, and the obscure cult fave UNCANNY X-MEN, to name a few. You’re a good guy, Chuck! Chuck has a forum where he talks with readers at x-mencomics.com/xfan
MAUREEN McTIGUE is a popular and fully-clothed editor, formerly at DC, now at Harris Comics. She edits the monthly VAMPIRELLA, and XIN: JOURNEY OF THE MONKEY KING, which you should get because they look great and have great writers. XIN begins in April, and a new VAMPI book starts in July. Check stuff out at www.vampirella.com and Udoncomics.com.
SEAN McKEEVER is primarily known for being a loonbag of the highest order, but he’s ALMOST as well known for the critic-fave THE WAITING PLACE. Lately, Marvel’s purchased him outright, and he’s written the HULK and BLACK PANTHER, and is currently writing SENTINEL and INHUMANS.
Multi-talented JOE CASEY likes rock music and porn, or at least that’s a thing I made up about him. When he’s not playing in his band, THE SELLOUTS (www.thesellouts.com), he’s writing ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, WILDCATS VERSION 3.0, and AUTOMATIC KAFKA, among others. He’s got MONOLITH from Ait/PlanetLar and BATMAN: TENSES coming soon, so buy buy buy! Full, naked details at www.manofaction.tv/casey/.
FABIAN NICIEZA co-created Deadpool and the New Warriors and helped revitalize the Justice League and those things alone make for quite a resume for an exhibitionist on the lam, but he also just finished a fan-favorite run on THUNDERBOLTS, and is working on the critically-acclaimed BLACKBURNE COVENENANT for Dark Horse Comics.
BRIAN K. VAUGHAN is the irritatingly talented mind behind Y:THE LAST MAN, THE HOOD, and about fifty new Tsunami titles including THE RUNAWAYS and MYSTIQUE. He writes at night like a vampire and thinks the sun is just a myth. He’s nude right now.
STUART MOORE was my editor on the ill-fated NIGHT NURSE for about an hour and a half, BUT, he also was editor of a long list of commercial and creative successes, and is generally considered by many (including me) to be one of the editing greats of comics. He currently writes ZENDRA for Penny Farthing Press and LONE for Dark Horse, and a web column on comics called A THOUSAND FLOWERS for www.Newsarama.com that’s a must-read. A streaker.
MYATT MURPHY is the creator/writer of Fade From Blue, a bi-monthly indie comic that’s receiving a heaping PILE of praise from the industry, including an Eisner nom for Myatt as “Talent Deserving Of Wider Recognition.” Other recent accolades include 6 ‘certified cools’ out of 8 books so far from Diamond, 3 “A’s” from CBG’s Reading Room AND FFB being named one of 2003’s Buzz Books by Wizard Magazine. Murphy also wrote Two Over Ten and Far From Saints, as well as features for Newsweek, Glamour, GQ and numerous other non-porn magazines. To see more, check out why, go to www.secondtosomestudios.com.
The very funny JESSE LEON McCANN has one of the widest resumes in comics, and is currently writing stories for Looney Tunes, Simpsons Comics, and Cartoon Cartoons, among many others, but that’s barely scratching the surface of the places his work has appeared. He also has the frighteningly difficult job of putting together and editing the SIMPSONS EPISODE GUIDES and trivia games. Check out his website for a full list of this guy’s varied talents.
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You’ll All Be Sorry! is a satire published by Comic Book Resources, and is not intended maliciously. CBR has invented all names and situations in its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody (permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988)). CBR makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceeding information.
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