LYING IN THE GUTTERS VOLUME 2 COLUMN 165
Welcome to the most popular and longest running comics column on the internet. In its various forms, Lying In The Gutters has covered rumours and gossip in the comics industry for fourteen long glorious and quite scary years.
All stories are sourced from well-connected individuals. But I urge you to use your judgment and remember, context is everything.
The traffic lights are an indication (and only that) of how reliable I believe the story to be, based on source, context and gut feel. Red lets you know I think this rumour is bunkum, but it is still one being spread about. Amber indicates I think there is a heavy bias involved here, or it just seems a little dodgy. And Green as far as I can tell (as far as I can ever tell) is the real deal, junior.
Nevertheless, do remember, Lying In The Gutters is for your entertainment. Neither Fair Nor Balanced. Please don’t shoot the messenger.
NO HEROICS – THE REVIEW
And it’s weird. Mostly in a good way.
The show revolves around a group of superfriends. They’re needy, predatory, alcoholic, lazy and their only sense of worth is in the amount of media coverage they generate.
The show is mostly set in The Fortress, a no costume, no powers bar in Soho, where the cast engage in the mutual self loathing and needy clinging familiar to many in the media industry. And it’s a lot of fun. I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to more. The strong woman who can’t get a date so she visits her defeated villains in prison. A groupie who tattoos superhero conquests onto her body. A superhero who doesn’t stop a store robbery – indeed encourages it – because the store owner insulted her. Allegations of superhero sex tapes, cape rapes, vaginal burns and tiny testicles. And plenty of sitting around, drinking, whining and buying the next round.
“No Heroics” is a sitcom it seems designed to enrage the Byrne Board. That’s reason enough.
Episode One airs on ITV2, the same channel that debuted “Secret Diary Of A Call Girl” that wowed them recently on Showtime and will be illegally torrented shortly after that, probably.
I understand there’s a preview showing for bloggers next week. If you can make it to central London, email me and I’ll pass your details on.
With a name much gayer than he wants it to be, Nicolas Burns (“Nathan Barley,” “Man Stroke Woman“) plays a put upon luckless chump of a heat-generating hero. Even his trysts with groupies don’t work out, and he finds himself drinking with his group of four friends which includes his most significant ex. Or sitting at home heating up ready meals, Nice.
Rebekah Staton (“Pulling,” “Doctor Who“) plays the strongest woman alive. And the clingiest. And the neediest. Known to take dating advice from the villain she’s assaulting, she visits past defeats in hospital. Clearly has a thing for The Hotness, but will never tell.
Claire Keelan (“Nathan Barley,” “A Cock And Bull Story“) plays a second generation hero with parental issues and powers straight out of “Ex Machina,” who is much happier to know where her next cigarette and bottle of vodka is coming from than saving the day. Willing to let grudges and apathy get in the way of her superheroing. Tells the cigarette vending machine “give me fags” for free smokes. Excellent.
James Lance (“Teachers,” “Book Group“) plays a gay, Spanish, alcoholic, knife wielding ex-heroin addict and the most charming of the bunch. Uses his ability to snort sixty seconds into the future to work out whose round it is. And doesn’t talk about tunnels and Paris.
Joined by pub security Thunder Monkey who summons hordes of attacking simians…
The Excelsor played by Patrick Baladi (“The Office“), Britain’s No.1 superhero, alpha male, bully boy and misogynist…
and Light Killer who.. well… turns out lights.
TOO MANY DOCTORS
Anyway. 2010. When Steven Moffat takes over as showrunner. LITG already reported rumours that Neil Gaiman and Rob Shearman will be writing episodes for that series (and maybe Rob can explain why a bunch of American alien hunters don’t know what a Dalek is in 2012), but now I’ve also been told about an actor who’ll be appearing some point in “Doctor Who” that year.
Whether he’s playing the Doctor as everyone wants, the Master as he himself suggested, or something else… we’ll have to wait and see.
Bob Layton was overheard at WizardWorld Chicago stating he’s working on a new Hercules mini-series at Marvel following up on his work from the eighties.
Look for a Doctor Strange series to spin out of “Secret Invasion.”
Ed Brubaker will be announcing a new film project at San Diego.
And look for a few fundamental changes to Image Comics on the horizon, too.
THE FACE OF MODERN ADVERTISING
No. It’s a PR campaign for a new car from Lotus. Apparently, other cars are faceless you see. Expect to see it get explained in a couple of weeks.
THE JOE DOWN
Issue #0 hits in October, the series starts in full from January. As previously LITG’d, Robert Atkins is the artist.
And while Warren Ellis is writing the new online “G.I. Joe” animated episodes, “G.I. Joe: Resolute,” he confesses that he’s never even seen a G.I. Joe figure.
Me neither. I did, however, have an eagle eyed Action Man which is close enough. Warren, it seems, didn’t. I think that explains Spider Jerusalem, don’t you?
INSIDE GRANT’S HEAD
BLUE BEETLE, GREEN BEETLE, RED BEETLE…
Hat Tip to Steve Flack of The Bendis Board.
BUSIEK ALWAYS WINS
THE HORSE’S MOUTH
One of their regular collaborations with Marvel is to great a Hero 100 project, where a hot Marvel comic gets a special 100 issue blank cover printing and comic book creators are asked to contribute a cover sketch. This year it’s Hulk #1.
I understand it had the same level of nudity as last year, which was successfully auctioned off. But this year something… well. Gave.
IDW are an innocent party here; they licensed the full publishing rights without need for further payments from Speed Racer Enterprises, but these may have passed through a few hands since the original bankruptcy of NOW Comics.
But both Len and Jill signed contracts that guaranteed them reprint payments. Of course, those contracts are lost in the eighties. It’s now a matter of how much money the lawyers are going to cost, and how long it will take. Speed Racer Enterprises have, to date, not chosen to comment.
Someone somewhere owes these creators money. Anyone like to help find out whom?
IT’S 2008. DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR MARVEL MASTERWORKS ARE DRAWN BY?
Blogger Danny Boy has confirmed that many pages have been recreated by other artists where the original art of files has been unavailable. And rather than using the original living artists, Marvel have plumped for uncredited individuals and lightbox. You can see pages drawn by Kelleher available for sale here. Kirby, Ditko, Heck, Buscema, his mimicry is quite extensive. And of course, no money from the sale goes to the original artist.
(Hat Tip to Nathan Greno for the scans)
This kind of thing has been argued back and forth for a while – I remember the long and tedious back and forths on the “Comic Buyers Guide” letters pages over the pre-scanner “Theakstonisation” process developed by Greg Theakston, where an original comic was bleached, the colour drained from the page, leaving a thin veneer of the original black ink which would then be embellished.
And it appears only a cursory search has been made for original art. John Byrne states that he owns one original page from “Strange Tales” that was recreated. Is it really cheaper to remake pages than get scanned copies of originals in people’s collections? A quick appeal may reap many rewards…
Funny, I thought things had moved on by now.
IT’S STILL 2008. DO YOU KNOW WHERE JIM LEE IS?
The current issue has Batman on the cover and Bizarro on the back…
due to their coverage of the DC Massive Multiplayer Online game, with screenshots, sketches, interviews and analysis.
Jim Lee talks about his original “EverQuest” obsession, and the letdown that they couldn’t get the Batman’s cape to change size depending on tone and “ways to make backs and butts look more exciting – cause that’s what you’re looking at.”
It’s in UK newsagents now, the US should get their copies shipped in this week.
THIS WEEK, I HAVE BEEN…
… reading “Him And Her’s Smuggling Vacation,” a comic tale of accidental cannabis smugglers. A Guy Ritchie film written by Mike Leigh. Most enjoyable, with a very European cartoony style that suits the countries our intrepid couple drive through.
… selling stuff on eBay. And buying Thomas The Tank Engine Wooden toys for Eve. Taking her for her first film on Sunday morning, “WALL E”. Let’s see if we make it through.
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