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15 Comic Book Characters Too Weird For Movies

by  in Lists, Comic News, Movie News Comment
15 Comic Book Characters Too Weird For Movies

As comic book movies continue to grow in popularity, Hollywood studios are becoming more and more comfortable with taking what appears on the comic book page and putting it up on screen. Characters often appear in comic accurate costumes, and concepts like a shared universe are now commonplace.

RELATED: 15 Marvel Characters Who Need Their Own Movie

Despite all of that, there are still some characters who have little chance of appearing in any of the movies. Whether it’s because their powers are too weird, their story is too bizarre, or they just physically don’t work in the real world, these characters may forever remain left out. The best shot many of the entries on this list have of appearing is as minor background Easter egg, or getting name dropped. They will probably never appear on screen in all of their glory, however. Then again, never say never, right? Still, here are 15 characters we think may be too weird for the movies.

15. EGG FU

egg-fu

Older comics can be really strange to read in a modern context. For example, the original appearance of Wonder Woman villain Egg Fu in “Wonder Woman” #157 (1965) by Robert Kanigher and Ross Andru is really a product of its time. Originally, he was a Chinese communist agent who just happens to be a giant egg. He was later retconned and turned into an alien supercomputer, and then finally into a mad scientist. The one constant feature is that he’s always a giant evil egg.

That’s pretty much the obvious reason that Egg Fu won’t appear in the movies: being a giant egg. There’s really no way that this character can work in a serious, live action setting. Even the most recent version, from “Harley Quinn Annual” #1 (2014) by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner, where he had a regular-shaped robot body, still had a big egg for a head. Given the serious nature of DC’s recent movies, a talking egg just doesn’t fit in… some might say unfortunately.

14. DEX-STARR

dex-starr

First appearing in “Final Crisis: Rage of the Green Lantern Corps” (2008) by Geoff Johns and Shane Davis, Dex-Starr is a member of the rage-fueled red lanterns. Before being drafted into the corps, he was just a regular kitten living on Earth. He had a love-filled life, until his owner was killed by a burglar. Dexter ended up on the streets, and was picked up by two men, tortured and placed in a bag. Right as the bag was thrown over the side of the Brooklyn Bridge, a red ring found Dexter and recognized the anger in his heart, drafting him into the Red Lantern Corps.

Like most Red Lanterns, Dex-Starr’s power ring provides him with one of the grossest super powers in the cosmos. His blood has been replaced with rage-blood, and he can vomit it on his enemies, burning them alive. While the idea of a cat being a member of a Lantern corps might sound cute, an abused animal that vomits fiery rage-blood is something that audiences probably won’t want to see.

13. BAT-MITE

bat-mite

Batman is a dark and brooding character, especially in the current movies. Bat-mite, on the other hand, is an imp from the fifth dimension that has access to highly advanced technology. First appearing in “Detective Comics” #267 (1959) by Bill Finger and Sheldon Moldoff, Bat-Mite traveled to Earth to help Batman and Robin fight crime. Of course, Batman isn’t thrilled to have a magical imp tagging along, but Bat-Mite worships the heroes and won’t leave them alone.

Grant Morrison tried to update the character during his run on Batman, revealing that Bruce had created a backup personality in case his mind got wiped. In “Batman” #678 (2008), this backup personality takes over and begins hallucinating Bat-Mite, who served as his conscience. While this was a creative way to bring this character to modern comics, the concept is still just too silly for DC’s modern movies. There’s simply no way audiences ever get to see Ben Affleck arguing with a flying magical imp.

12. STARRO

starro

Before 1960, there was no Justice League. They didn’t form until Starro the Conqueror came to Earth in “Brave and the Bold” #28 (1960) by Gardner Fox and Mike Sekowsky. An alien lifeform that resembles a giant starfish, it has the ability to release spores that can attach to a host’s face. While these spores are attached, Starro can control the host. Unable to defeat the alien on their own, Aquaman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter team up, forming one of the most popular super teams ever.

Multiple versions of Starro have shown up since then, including the massive Star Conqueror. This version of the alien was gigantic, being large enough to cover Europe. Once again, it took a combination of the Earth’s most powerful heroes to defeat it. While Starro is a major villain, and directly tied to the origin of the Justice League, the odds of the movie heroes fighting a giant space star fish are basically zero. Sure, he may show up on a comedy riff like “Powerless,” but there’s no way to make him gritty enough for the big leagues.

11. BEAK

beak

Not every mutant is going to get a cool power like telepathy, healing factors or retractable bone claws. Some mutants’ powers manifest in ways that deform their bodies, like with Barnell Bohusk, who is better known as Beak. He first appeared in “New X-Men” #117 (2001) by Grant Morrison and Ethan Van Sciver, and he’s one of the oddest X-Men ever. When he hit puberty, Barnell basically turned into a human/bird hybrid. Unlike similar mutants, however, his transformation resulted in an odd and clumsy creature, as opposed to an elegant feathered hero.

His awkwardness was part of his charm, however. He was a good natured guy who just wanted to fit in. He played a major role in Grant Morrison’s “Planet X” storyline, showing that a mutant doesn’t need the best power to fight for what’s right. Of course, his mutation makes him a difficult character to pull off in live action, even for a quick cameo. Combine that with the fact that he doesn’t look good in leather, and Beak’s movie odds aren’t good.

10. STRONG GUY

strong-guy

Some characters, like Strong Guy, only work when they look completely over the top. In “New Mutants” #29 (1985) by Chris Claremont and Bill Sienkiewicz, he is introduced as Guido Carosella and is working as Lila Cheney’s bodyguard. He has the power to absorb kinetic energy, but with a catch. He has to release that energy quickly, or else it will permanently distort his body. He learned this the hard way when his powers first developed and he was hit by a bus. He didn’t get rid of the energy fast enough, and it left the top half of his body extremely large. He also wears coke-bottle glasses, just FYI.

Strong Guy can’t just be a big guy, he has to have the extremely distorted look. The appeal of the character is how ridiculous he appears, contrasted with how funny his personality is. Without that, he just comes across as a generic tough guy. Unfortunately, the “X-Men” movies don’t seem to be too interested in truly adapting the physically bizarre characters, so we might see Strong Guy at some point… but it won’t actually be Strong Guy, know what we mean?

9. THE ORB

the-orb

Another character who seems to be based on one single extremely bizarre physical trait, the Orb is a villain who has a giant eyeball for a head. Surprisingly, this silly looking villain is actually a nemesis of Ghost Rider, who usually fights against demons. As revealed in his first appearance in “Marvel Team-Up” #15 (1973) by Len Wein and Ross Andru, the Orb was a stunt cyclist who was disfigured in a motorcycle accident, which occurred during a race with Crash Simpson, Ghost Rider’s mentor. He received a motorcycle helmet that looked like a giant eyeball that could hypnotize people and eventually shoot lasers out of the pupil.

There’s another version of the Orb running around, and he actually has a giant eyeball for a head, instead of a mask. This version of the character played a major role in the recent crossover event “Original Sin,” where he ended up with one of the Watcher’s eyeballs and learned many of the Marvel Universe’s most well-guarded secrets. Also, he’ll probably never appear in a movie because it’s not even clear how a giant eyeball with no mouth even talks. It would be a nightmare for the special effects department.

8. THE MAXX

the-maxx

Starring in a dark and surreal series of comics, the Maxx exists within two different worlds. In the real world, he is a homeless vagrant. He also exists in a place called the Outback, a jungle world where he is a giant purple creature who protects the Jungle Queen, who greatly resembles his social worker from the real world, Julie Winters. “The Maxx” was created by Sam Kieth, and his ongoing series first premiered in 1993.

Aside from the comics, the Maxx was the star of a cult cartoon series that ran on MTV in 1995. It only ran for one season, and struggled to find an audience at the time. One of the major complaints about the cartoon was that the animation styles would often change, based on the perspective of the scene. While it has a cult following, the cost of making a movie that does this character justice would just be too great, considering that the concept has never found mainstream appeal.

7. LOCKHEED

lockheed

First appearing in “Uncanny X-Men” #166 (1983) by Chris Claremont and Paul Smith, Lockheed is a small dragon that befriended Kitty Pryde. They met when the X-Men were kidnapped by the alien race known as the Brood, and taken to a world overrun by the parasites. Kitty got separated from her teammates and found herself cornered by several Brood drones. Luckily, Lockheed appeared and saved her. When the X-Men went back to Earth, Lockheed tagged along, living in the X-mansion as Kitty’s pet.

Lockheed also grew close with Illyana, Colossus’ younger sister. She had been kidnapped as a child, taken to the hellish dimension of Limbo and returned as a teenager. Illyana, now calling herself Magik, was roomed with Kitty and bonded with Lockheed. The dragon even traveled with the X-Men to Battleworld during the first Secret Wars, where he ended up getting a girlfriend for a brief period of time. While the “X-Men” movies have hinted that they could go into space, Lockheed is just too cute for the tone of the films.

6. DOCTOR BONG

dr bong

Picking the right villain name is important. A poorly chosen identity will inspire laughter instead of dread, ruining an entire villainous career. Doctor Bong, who first appeared in “Howard the Duck” #15 (1977) by Steve Gerber and Gene Colan, is a perfect example of this. Lester Verde was a tabloid reporter and music critic who had lost his hand while working with a punk band. As it turns out, his origin gets even more complicated because he was also a genius scientist and was obsessed with Howard’s girlfriend, Beverly.

He began experimenting with genetic engineering and built a bell-shaped helmet. He kidnapped Howard and Bev and took them to his island, where he temporarily tricked Beverly into marrying him. Since then, Bong occasionally pops up in comics as a comic relief villain. While the Marvel movies haven’t avoided humor, Dr Bong’s bell helmet is just too ridiculous for an “Avengers” movie. You could argue that, as a villain of Deadpool’s, he might hit the screen, but we doubt the writers would want to make Wade Wilson the straight man in his own film. Against Doctor Bong, that’s just what he would be.

5. MARVEL ZOMBIES

marvel-zombies

In “Ultimate Fantastic Four” #21 (2005), by Mark Millar and Greg Land, the Reed Richards of the Ultimate Universe seemingly makes contact with the mainstream Marvel Universe. When he opens a dimensional gateway, however, it’s revealed to be a trick. He actually travelled to a dimension where most of the Marvel heroes have been infected with a zombie virus, and all but a handful of humans remain. While Richards escaped the apocalyptic dimension, the Marvel Zombies were a hit and eventually starred in several of their own miniseries.

While they might be one of Marvel’s most popular creations since the year 2000, there’s very little chance they’ll ever end up in any of the movies. As zombies, the super heroes have all turned into rotting corpses that feed on living flesh, which doesn’t really fit with the mostly-family friendly tone of the Cinematic Universe. Marvel will never make a movie where an infected Spider-Man kills and eats Aunt May and Mary Jane, no matter how well the comic version sold.

4. BIG WHEEL

big-wheel

Some villains don’t go too crazy when they come up with an alter ego. For example, Jackson Weele drove around a giant, armored wheel, so he called himself Big Wheel. Weele first appeared as Big Wheel in “Amazing Spider-Man” #183 (1978) by Marv Wolfman and Ross Andru. Weele had previously tried to hire Rocket Racer to steal evidence of his embezzling, but Racer ended up blackmailing him instead. After a failed suicide attempt, Weele hired the Tinkerer to build him a giant wheel.

He chose the Big Wheel motif to get back at Rocket Racer tauntingly calling him “big Weele.” Big Wheel has only made a few appearances in the comics, but he left a lasting impression… though not in an especially good way. He even made an appearance in the “Spider-Man: The Animated Series” episode “Rocket Racer.” Unfortunately, since Sony is trying to repair Spider-Man’s box office presence, it’s highly unlikely that they make a movie about him fighting a wheel-themed villain. Then again, they turned the Rhino into a truck driver, so what do we know?

3. MOJO

mojo

In a dimension where all of the inhabitants are addicted to televised gladiator battles, Mojo rules with a slimy fist. A member of an alien race known as the spineless ones, Mojo is a disgustingly fat creature controlled by greed. He’s confined to an armored robotic platform, mostly due to his species’ laziness. The vast majority of stars on Mojo’s television networks are slaves, many of which are genetically engineered for maximum entertainment value.

He made his first appearance in “Longshot” #3 (1985), by Ann Nocenti and Arthur Adams. Since then, he’s been fixated on enslaving the earth heroes and turning them into reality TV stars, with a special interest in the X-Men. He even made several appearances in the popular ’90s “X-Men” cartoon, and is one of the mutants’ most unique enemies, which is why he’ll never make it to the movies. Not only is he visually bizarre, his origin and motives are just too complicated for one movie, and unfortuantely, we doubt any studio would commit to the character for a whole series.

2. X-BABIES

x-babies

Speaking of Mojo, during a time period when the public believed the X-Men to be dead, Mojo tried creating new X-Men he could control. Basing them off an encounter where he de-aged the X-Men in “Uncanny X-Men Annual” #10 (1987) by Chris Claremont and Art Adams, Mojo debuted the X-Babies in “Uncanny X-Men Annual” #12 (1988), also by Chris Claremont and Art Adams. Almost all of the major X-Men team members have had baby versions appear on the roster, including Wolverine, Rogue, Storm, Colossus and even Professor X.

Like most of Mojo’s best creations, the X-Babies quickly rebelled against their master and would have been killed if not for the extremely high ratings they drew on Mojo’s network. They’re not just popular in the fictional Mojoverse, either. Marvel keeps bringing them back, and even introduced the A-Babies, and Avengers baby team, in “A-Babies vs X-Babies” #1 (2012) by Scottie Young and Gurihiru. They’re often the subject of alternate covers as well. Considering that Fox isn’t willing to even give fans actual X-Men uniforms in the movies, however, there’s no way they make a movie with super powered babies.

1. SUGAR MAN

sugar-man

The 1995 crossover event “Age of Apocalypse” showed a world where the villain Apocalypse had conquered North America. The story mainly focused on alternate versions of previously existing characters, although it did introduce a few new ones. Sugar Man first appeared in “Generation Next” #2 (1995) by Scott Lobdell and Chris Bachalo. A sadistic monster, he ruled over the human slave camp where Colossus’ sister was being held. When Generation Next arrived to free her, Sugar Man and his followers took out most of the team.

Visually, Sugar Man is a truly bizarre mutant. It’s not clear if his appearance is due to his mutation or from genetic manipulation, but he’s basically just a giant head with four arms, razor sharp teeth and claws, and no torso. While he was able to escape the Age of Apocalypse universe and jump into the mainstream Marvel universe, there’s little chance of him showing up in Fox’s Marvel movies. At least, not without adding an actual body, and that just wouldn’t be Sugar Man.

What do you think of our picks? Who do you think is too weird for the movies? Let us know in the comments!

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